Sunday, October 28, 2007

i passed promos and i am promoted! yessssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant be anymore happier. :) heh even my grades are atrocious. oh well, the important thing is to get to j2. then during the 2 months of holiday, i will study. really hard. hehe.

cant wait to start studying again. oh no, am i crazy? i actually cant wait to start studying! haha. aft PW and MT are over, i am soooo gonna concentrate on studies and practise hard for the upcoming concerts. yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!

sat's band prac with the little boys from acs schools was.... haiz. depressing. the barker boys in my section didnt come. and combine was a lil bit boring. with loads of rests for eupho parts. but i've heard the recording for Harry Potter Symphonic Suite and it was nice. i guess we need more practise.

i realised on sat how much i missed the J2s. I MISS THE J2S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss the old band sound that we used to have. Sat's band combine doesnt sound like us at all. oh well, i hope to see them again aft their A's.

oh,oh, next year during this time we'll be having our A's too!!! oh no. oh no. hahaha.

i wanna play step mania now. i think i am addicted to it. tsk.

chiao.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

oh my god i cant imagine how much suckier i can get. i screwed up my group OP. yay, best huh. and i think i am the worst speaker in the whole level. i stutter, my grammar suck, i speak so soft that even my ST said she didnt pay attention to what i'm saying that means i am so boring. my mind just went blank and no words come out from my mouth. like what can i do? i wasnt this bad when i did presentation in sec sch. In fact Mrs ling was so impressed with me she asked me to be the mc for national day with jack from 4e1. suck. i feel so terrible. and the ppt slides that i did was...... god, atrocious. windows vista seriously suck la. i edit and saved it nicely. then when i opened it again to take another look, it became all screwed up. i dont know what else to do la. and when i changed the sequence of the slides i got scolded by my grp leader. yay eh. best. i change it because some people present like 4 slides only while others present like 10 slides. i dont want to give some people more and others less what. i didnt do all that for fun ok. aiyah i no need to explain myself la.

and i think my group doesnt work together. everybody is so individualistic. and some are quite irresponsible they didnt do much and get credit. best. no co-operation at all. and when something screw up, one blames the other.

oh god am i that bad? i know ms leow dont want to say anything bad maybe she's scared i become embarrased or something like that. i just hate it la when people are ssoo nice. are they real and sincere? sometimes i know that some people are not that nice but people just dont know that. and that makes me angry because they cant see that person's true self. i hate hyporcrites. but sometimes i feel like i should become like them. u know, bermuka-muka. yeah something like that. maybe that way i'll be happier and i will be able to get what i want. but thats not me. when i'm not smiling to u that means i'm in a bad mood or just feel terrible not because i'm arrogant or something like that. I am not a hypocrite who gives a fake smile to makes others feel happier. i think people just dont know me well enough. i am not like what people think.

now, what should i do to my ppt slides? i wish like burning my laptop.

then my surgery is finally finalised next week on wed. yeah i am lil bit scared but that will be the first of many more that will come in the future. and it will cost like $3100 to $4000. how am i going to get the money? i dont know. not only that theres also so many possibilities that the surgery will go wrong. and i am not sure if i can make it to march muse due to the series of surgeries and recovering process that i have to undergo.

tomorrow the form teachers will tell us if we get promoted or not. even though i passed my exams. but my marks are.................haiz. u know what i mean. i just scraped through. i dont know if i can make it combine with my term results.

and i suck at malay. oh gosh, it usd to be my best subject now, what had happened? i dot have time to revise also, since i've been doing OP almost everynight. if i dont get A i'm gonna retake.

seriously, everybody is equal but others are more equal than some.
yes, i think.

oh well, lets look on the brighter side, theres combine band prac with the rest of the acs schools on sat!!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :))))))))))))))))))))) i cant wait wait wait.

chiao.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

oh no, tmr is revelation day. promos results out.

chill man, i need to chill.

Monday, October 15, 2007

its the third day of syawal. i just hope the begining of such a holy month will bring much blessings to all of us. ramadhan come and go just like that. i cant say i made much use of it. and i cant say its been an easy ramadhan compared to other ramadhan. preparing for promos amidst facing other issues is not easy either.

last mon break fast with farah and hafiyan. i am glad u two are happy like that. dont fight so often yeah miss farah ashlina bte aminnurahim. heh, i remember your full name! :) and i went to geylang!!!!!!wwweee!!! yesyesyesyesyesyes!!!!!!!!!

then, spent the rest of the remaining ramadhan cleaning the house and making cookies. i made chocolate chip cookies, almond cheese cookies and cupcakes!!! but the almond cookies are not so nice.:(

raya just come and go like any other years. it was tiring facing it all over again. i was hoping for a good change but, fat hope la. no one can change overnight do they?

i dont understand alot of things going on really. cant help it though when nobody wants to tell me the real situation and in addition my blurness just makes it worst. sometimes i think teenagers are much more muture then adults. how stupid can adults be.

hari raya is a time where u spend time with your family members and seek forgiveness from each other, no matter if u are young or old. like the cliche goes, forgive and forget. how many thousands or millions of muslims do u hear during hari raya saying maaf zahir batin. i find all that bull shit. u should not say it for the sake of saying it. but because u really realise your mistakes and want to be forgiven. if u are not sincere about it, then why do u still say it?
and even if the person who did wrong to u is younger and didnt seek forgiveness to u, shouldnt u just forgive that person? on account that he is a family member of yours or that u have known that person. for forgiving others is a noble act. i know its difficult to just forgive someone who has inflicted pain on u for years but cant u do it for future sake? for your children's sake? so that the family ties that we have will stay strong untill generations to come? and they even fought on such a beautiful night when everyone is supposed to be happy. how to stupid can the be. how inmature can they be.

that night u made me very sad. very sad.
that night u made me see a bad side of your character.
i just hope i wont be like u in the future.


over with hari raya blues, getting back promos results soon. lets pray yeah.
for the light to shine brighter, the darkness have to be darker. how true. most will make it but some will not. i hope i do not fall in the 'some' category. will my life in ac end here?

i hope not.
chiao.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

i dont have the mood to spring clean my house in oreparation for raya. boring la. the dust and all... i just want to read my book watch tv and surf the net. this made mum really, really mad at me. haha. because i am one anak dara yang pemalas nak buat kerja rumah. oh well who cares.

i'm feeling bored and i cant sleep. guess what i'm thinking abt now. yeah, promos results. ergh.

i wanna bake cupcakes, cookies, brownies and maybe a cake if time permits. oh raya is this friday ah.. i didnt realise that. but when do i have to go to sch again? i dont know. oh well, i dont care la. i wanna enjoy myself first.

yes, before i forget, selamat hari raya to all my muslims mates. :) may god bless us all.

chiao.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

ah.. sad.sad.. i couldnt go for iftar. i dont care uh.. will go geylang jugak with farah this mon.. tengok je ah..
bukak sikit ah minda tu. so narrow minded. tak paham betol. zaman skarang pon masih ada org yg berfikiran kuno macam tu. dah la kuno, negative minded. cis. abeh nak semue org ikut rentak die. alamak, org pon ada hidup sendiri kan. abeh nak control-control org. cis. geram nye. macam aku nie 7 tahun. aku da 17 tahun!!!!!!! garh! u know what, because of u, i feel like my life is ssoo empty and kelam. macam tak ada fun langsung. jgn blame aku kalau aku tak tau nak bergaul dgn org. jangan salah kan aku lagi di masa hadapan.

hehe.. cant wait to meet with faraaaaaahhhhh.... wwwwwwwweeee!!!!!!!!

i went online shopping today. thanks eh sis, u make me broke now la. alamak..but i loveee the dress... woooooo....

Friday, October 05, 2007

i dont uderstand why at 17 years old, she still control me as if i'm a freaking 7 year old kid. damn it uh. luckily its ramadhan, up sikit aku nye kesabaran nie.

i think i'll really be retained. argh. i cant sleep at night. i keep having stupid nightmares. tsk, i can only pray hard.

i got into an accident before promos and became toothless. thanks 1aa3, for praying for me. i'm really touched. i guess i've never really said it or showed it, i'm not that kind of person, i just cant say or show. but i am really thankful for all the prayers. thanks guys. :) i look damn ugly but my surgery is being scheduled now. argh and bro was hospitalised, infected by denggi. that moment, when everything seem like... i have promos soon, my gums are aching and bro is in hospital. i almost broke down. but life goes on. i'm just glad i'm alive and well today.

dad asked me why i got into the accident. he asked me to think. he said maybe i've done something wrong. like really wrong. but i told him, my conscience is clear, i've done nothing wrong. and nobody believed me.

i dont know when i'll recover and can play my eupho again. i want dont want to miss any concerts or any performances. especially the swiss trip. missing syf is enough torture for me.

this hari raya seem so bland and empty. there's nothing that i can look forward to. i'm not going to blurt out everything here.
the future seems so uncertain.

chiao.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

i'm liberated finally from promos. but my brain is dead. freaking tired. i blog again tmr and start updating again.

i'm dead for promos. i can just pray hard that i wont get retained. i've tried hard. i'll just leave everything to God.

chiao.