its raining

it always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun the most.



so i'll be a good girl and smile. like khun said, 'smile even when it rains! =]'

lol. barrage was awesome-ness man. but serves me right for not eating properly and mr gastric said hello to miss stomach.
met up irnanana today. awesome-ness but i was tired out real quick. haha.

school next week. need to sort my pilesssssssssssss of notes, start revise accounts T_T, revise my btt heh(oh horvie just his driving too wwwwweeeeeeeeee), settle mendaki issues and loads more which is too long a list to say it here.

i'm tired easily these days, physically and emotionally.

chiao.

for taec :) hahaha.



for meee! kekekeke.

berserah

emptyness.
well, sometimes anger though.

insyallah, when i have the rezeki, i will give back.

bills, invoices, fees=headaches.

sometimes, just leave it all to Him. 'cos i really dont what else to do.
cant eat, sleep or do anything else.

i'll give myself to You.

chiao.

PMS

i cant help but grin whenever i think of our silly antenna and thumb games. oh and how silly we look when we do that chomp chilly chomp chomp games.

dang. i hate PMS. really. one moment your mood can be sky high and you just wanna jump and laugh at everything. but the next, you feel like the worst being on earth, so lonely, so inferior, so angry too at yourself, at everyone. you just want someone to listen to everything, pour everything out, for someone to just pat your back and say everything is okay. [but that never happened sadly] and you're left all alone to deal with it. [but eventually you stood up again after the fall because you just have to; have to continue living] and physically, your appetite flucuates. you go on silly binges in the middle of the night and the next day you starve yourself. your face became oily and pimples appear [ggrrrr, dang you pimples] and then comes the cramps. the numbs on the legs. cold feet, sometimes shivers too.

but i'd rather take it all in. rather than eating painkillers.

hhmmm. epiphany on several issues. i keep it to myself for now

chiao.

ragh

exams results was astonishingly good. like unexpectedly good. but when i got to know of others' results, i dont feel THAT great anymore. but luckily those middle-aged-PMS-half-phsychotic ehems thinks otherwise. so i am perfectly safe for now of their naggings or whatsoever.

HOWEVER! i cant escape from their tauntings of getting married and having an evil in-law who tortures their daughter-in-law to do housework. Hence, i was forced into the kitchen till my hands were yellow from mixing herbs, chorse from the detergent and cuts from cutting onions, garlic and chillis.

ITS NOT LIKE I AM GOING TO FREAKING GET MARRIED NEXT WEEK RIGHTTTT~! ERGGGHHHHH.

sigh. i wanna go back to schoooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllll. *sobs*

someone, save me. take me away.

:]

anxiety isnt good for health.

but somehow it cant be helped,

what, why?

WHAT IF..?

i wonder.

chiao.

-_____-

nerves nerves nerves are killing me. well, its tomorrow. mummy has perfect confidence in me. but i dont. i know its no use worrying about it. like its all finalised so everything is confirmed whether i'll make it or not. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really wanna scream out now. i know i've done my best though.
my resolution: i am so gonna study many times harder next sem thats for sure. work many times harder. get more $$ to support myself and to go overseas for internship next year. (the troubles of a full-time student who has to support herself. sigh what to do..)

still healing this bruised heart. (ehw so jiwang, yuck) anyway, i'll just enjoy the entertainment thats provided. i should stop listening to ballads and watch FO maybe to cheer me up.

bored but i realised that i have alot of stuff to do at home. hahaha.

anyone who's free enough to go shop with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? harloooooooooooooo anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? i hear empty echos. i guess not. bleah whatever. -___-

i'd rather be busy than be this bored and start thinking about nonsense.

chiao.