long time no write...i'm sucklingly so tired...Just had cross country today in bedok reservoir..but i didn't run...the band performing. Even if i had run..there won't be any difference in the band's playing!! Even if i'm no more...no one would even notice....They tried to piss me off time and again...U all go and kiss my foot, butt and shit first ah before u want to piss me off!!!! suckers... Is my plaing that bad till i can't even play in syf??? ohh...i forgot!!! I'm just a walking statue who unfortunately could play the euphonium but sadly no music can come out...So..it doesn't qualify to go to syf!! Too bad....

There's common test every week...making me a walking zombie. And cik sham asking me why i had failed 2 tests...Only want me to get first in class but never appreciated or value my hard work. Never think how much slogging and sacrifice i had done...Shit!!! I had tried my best right?? Wat u want me to do?? Cheat in the tests is it?? Then mum didn't let me go to bintan for a social studies trip...it's only $125!!! And i'll be using my own money!! For goodness sake i don wanna use your money!!! The money in my bank account are all from the scholarships that i had won!! My own hard work!! Wat's wrong with that?? I'm not going there to enjoy, to study history!! For God's sake, I'm 15!!!!!!!!! Not 5 years old!!!!!!!!

Those suckers...I tried to think positive.... I tried to convince myself that u are doing this for the band's sake...but your actions totally contradicts with wat i thought... Wat is this?? When u play...u purposely play loudly so that all of them could hear how well u play..But when u all played wrong notes want to piss me off...u will not play so people hear SHAHEERA playing so ugly!! And i'll be accused of play badly... And mr wong..doesn't even noe my name... even when they need a librarian and i'm in front of me..they will not approach me....OOhhh...i forgot again.. I'm just a statue...

Unfortunately...this statue's ears are not yet deaf...and i'm not dumb...i'm just stupid... watch out suckers...

you noe wat...life sux!!

Fuh yo!! At last!! I managed to get a new template!! I experimented with it for the past 2 hrs!! hahaha..but still i haven't finished wif it yet soo...stay tuned....wwooohhooo!!!!

Its been quite sumtime since i write in this blog. My life had turned upside down. I donno why...Being a teenager sucks! So many probs! haizz...Studies..band...mum...family...shit... I hate crying! My grades are going down the drain, i just donno why. I just don't have the interest to study anymore...Wif khai sitting beside me babbling bout her stead...[make me feel pissed off cos i am thinking of him. I hate thinking of him!!!] Then at band..I hate those suckers...[u noe hu u r...suckers!], new sec ones are in...the sec two are still nuts at their music theory...me, just being an extra in the band...Then there's mum...For goodness sake i'm FIFTEEN!! not five years old! And i had never even been to bugis wif my frens!! Never in my life before!! She wants me to wat?? Rot in the house wif a book?? Shit!! I just don't get the freedom i deserved and need it...Or do i deserve it since i'll be failing my tests?? I think rot in house wif a book is better...Lately i've been cring alot...till my head and eyes ached....I hate crying...

This blog is making me crazy!! The image doesn't want to come out!! Its sssooooo UGLY!! I wanna change the template but i donno haw to...haizz...

All this were taken when we were celebrating kak wani and Imran's birthday. Soo...fun...the are ssoooo tantalisingly delicous!!! uummwahh!!

Aaww....sssoooo romantic....hehehehe.... 

Say cheese!! 

THE CLEOPATRA POSE!!! 

Hey you!!! wat u looking at??!! 

Cuttiiieeee pie...I'm pinching your cheeks!!! hehehe... 

Open your mouth...AAAHHHHH!!!!! 

Big Beady eyes are healthy eyes!!! hahaha... 

The heppi cousins!! 

Smile!!! 

*yawn... Faster pose la... 

Fell Down But I Got Up

The blow come and go like the blood gushing through my veins. More hatred flows through my young body... Making me more rebellious each day.... Thought of swimming in the reservoir without life jackets....Thought of gulping down ten of those white tablets.... Thought of slashing the pen knife in my pencil box through my veins...But i didnt managed...I cried silently but no one knows.. no one hears...I walked through many aisles and questions flooded my thoughts.... I walked through many corridors and my imaginations run wild....I walked on the road and i felt like flying...flying...with the wind....

Suckers...I'm back again...

Hey suckers... I'm still not done with u...

U made my life suck...


U suck to the core...

B'cos u are true suckers!!


And I'll be back...

Suckers...Here i come!!!!

Hey suckers out ther hear me out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like totally jumping into the reservoir...........


suckers...u made my life like hell!!

I hate u!!

Suckers are not meant to live....


U SUCK.

The First Week Of the Skool Year 2005

This week has been full of ups and downs for me... Mon has been quite okay...la. But on Tues, the hectic of my schedule had got into me. I got band after school, so, i came home like bout 8.00... Luckily mum did not nag at me...phuh! Then on Wed i still have band, on Wed we had a special performance for the sec ones, bullshit performance!!! Totall shit!!! Horrible... Then here comes the part...After the performance, Alif really gave us a hacking...a riminder that the SYF is coming...Many ppl were crying...including me...I just feel that watever he said was totally true...like the sec twos were not putting in much effort...Want to come or not to come....haiz... When me, Shi Ying and Nad said this to them, they gave us a shit face!!! Wat's this?? When i was a sec one, i had never dared to give this kind of thing to Nad or Sandy but they are now so rude...Then, that day oso, they changed... like the basses sect spring clean the whole band store...hahaha...We even found a mute for Euphoniums!!! Old one though...like...10 years... Then on Fri, prac again..Then the next day, that is today... We had our performance for the CCA exhibition... Our performane I think was really good... :) hahaha...we played and danced at the parade square then we made an impromtu performance at the atrium....hahaha...We played while walking and we also danced around the atrium!!! It was really fun!!! This is what i love bout band...PERFORMING!!! grooving to the music!! ooohhhh yyyaaahhh!!!!hahaha.... juz hope the weeks coming will be fine... 8-)

This was taken last year during the 1e2 klass party...With my good frens...the one with scarf is me...