uh-huh

oohhh..ok..lar..exams over... now my schedule for june hols are jammed full...siaw arhh... how to study...and catch up with the studies that i slack...Want to go movies and do study group with farah and mark oso no time... how..seh..hahaha...now i'm chatting on msn instead of studying...I suck ay my exams...I only got no 10 in class... shit lar....haiz.. wat to do.. Just now got band prac...HEAR ME OUT SUCKERS!!! U ARE NOT MEANT TO LIVEEEE!!!!!!! U suck to the core man...there you go...your reward for making me ssoo pissedd oofff....sucksucksucksucksuck...
buzz off... I'm not in a good mmooooddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!

La..la...la...

bla..bla..bla.. It's mt period...boring..Cikgu ridwan trying to teach but we don't care..hahahahah... and the guys are watching a japanese movie... so funny talking in japanese language...bahahahahaha...... :) hahahaha.... I'm bored ...

I'll chiow now..
surf the net...
Bubye!!!!!!!!!!
:)

GGrrr...

EEEEIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shamil's pissing me off again!!! I'm fighting with him over the com...He's soo selfish and impatient!!!!! U suck shamil!!! get oof my back man!!!

okk...my life...like that lar...same2...My results are out and i suck... My hML I get a B3!!!! can u imagine that???? I had never get such marks!!!! Man...if mum were to know bout it...She'll pull my hair bald man... shit lar... And i must u tell u this... ther's some body making me feel so pissed off in school.. Man.. I feel he'll just stop it....ahhh... wat ever lar... Then at tuition..hahaha...Mark dyed his hair!!!! Hahahahahaha....!!!!! and wrong colour that too...yellow strand of extended hair...hahahahha...he looked sssoooo funny!!!!!!!!!hhahahahaha...

I'm bored... I'll surf the net...
byieeee!!!!!!!!!! :)

OOOHHH.....

ok, maths lesson...My grades are out and they're horrible!! Yesterday...my day was a roller coaster ride. My grades was down the drain... and tuition to me was funny... We totally piss Andy off!!! hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Then Mark came...that was okay... then that night he became the crazy mark again...hahahaha...back to normal...He kept pulling my 'scarf-rong' as he calls it. okay...that's it...

lesson ending...
gtg
Bubbye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:)

PMS

PMS...PMS...BULLSHIT!! I hate it when it comes...makes me sick. Ages since i logged in... Exams...exams...making me go bonkers...now is mother tongue period...haha..hanging out in com lab. Just got back my bio papers and i barely got A1...haiz...ok...catching up from the last entry...I said that i did not want to go to tuition on mon and wed but yeah..I did. I did not want but i need to ask andy some questions on maths and bio so i went with farah..THEN....the most stupid thing happened...I did not know what i did to that Mr mark.. but he suddenly stopped talking to me and farah.. what did we do??? Both of us pestered him to tell us what was the prob but he just would not tell me...then he said he had a headache... $%$*&%$*&$???? what was that supposed to mean mark?? I know u're not satisfied with us...but just tell lar...What wrong we did...we are real sorry lar... Then on fri day...he was almost back to normal...laughing and making himself look funny...hahaha...but then.. yesterday again didn't come...i msg also didn't reply...What's wrong??? Tell lar...We are frens rite??? Frens should tell their problems to each other....Haiz...If on wed he did not come... I'm gonna call u!! AAARRGGHHH!!!! You're making me feel guilty!!!!!

Back to school...later having hist....I really hope i get A1...but haiz... my class very competitive.... but if the whole class pass Mr Raj gonna treat us to Pizzahut. YUM...YUM...Ohhh it'll make me go fatter!!! hahaha...Then maths...aahhhhh.....DIE, DIE i must pass!!!!!! &^$&(%#$(%&#(%&

Life's like that!!!
bla..bla..bla..
i'm bored...
gtg...

Babi

Babi. Babi. Am i that bad...that every time u see me u have to critisise me?? Fuck u ah. Am I a FREAK??? just because i wear that "ice-cream hat"?? Stupid lar. I don tink so i'm coming on monday. Frist i have exams, second i don want to see andy''s screaming face and third i don wanna see your fucking face.

I'm cracking up. The exams are here. Bastard. I'm not studying. Sure to fail. Went shopping thinking it would release my stress but ended up feeling regret eating at banquet cos i saw this fabulous skirt at this fashion but can't buy cos no money..... Blablabla...

singing off...buzzz...
shamil's here...
screaming again.
Fuck off and die. :

Highs...and lows...

Many drastic things had been happening in my life...(i'm crying now..) It's like every morning i would see F^$(^$( in the lift...But i know he doesn't give a shit bout it... nor do i... Then in tuition...Farah wif rezza and Amanda wif Mark. hahaha. Good catch ppl. Left me. I'm alone. Not that i'm jealous its just a miracle that u guys get together at the same time. On wed went home together. Had great, great fun...hehehe...Mark even offered to help find H%(^%^ 's phone number. Great. I'll be smsing him...(rolling eyes) Yeah. Then on fri mark didn't come to tuition cos he's having his uncle's cremation. Then on Sat i was supposed to go to masjid sultan to take the bahas prize but suddenly... Mum told me in the morning...Nenek putih...is no more....She's dead. yeah. real dead. I mean died. Today, again, tuition...Andy's mad..he wants me to come for the sec 1 and sec 2 and something happened. A new girl came. Someone whom Rezza knew and they sat beside each other. Stupid Rezza. I hate U. U made Farah heart broken. Even though she doesn't show it but i know her. I knew her for almost 10 years ok...She is sad. So when going home we just went off like that. We don't bother to wait for Rezza...Stupid guy...flirt wif other girls while liking one... Then me, Farah, Amanda and Lishan went to mac to eat. On the way...passing the mrt...I SPOTTED H%&$$(&^$(&!!!!!!!!!! hahaha...LOL!!! Then crazy amanda go and walk in front of him..ssssoooo obvious that we are lookin at him...Then him friend gave me a smile. What was that supposed to mean?? I don't want his friends' smile...I want his!!!! Its always the wrong person!! Shit lar...Oh watever...I'm on the clouds now.........

Can't sleep tonight...
Thinking of H$#&^#$*^
Studying and completing my homework...
Buzzing off...Shamil's screaming....
fuck off and die shamil.

Exams...exams..

Exams are nearing and i still haven't start my revision...man....I must get 75% of my subjects A1...AArrrgghhh!!!!!!I really have to concentrate on my studies.... But kind of hard actually...hehehe...Well, on last fri..went to airportand study physics wif hiq and khai...hahhahaah...real havoc...I just truly wish the other 2 were wf us..like old times...
Ahhh...watever...

Buzzing off...Today got maulid rasul...

Buzz....

This was taken last year...in the music room..hehehe...posing like wat ah..basses sect...hahahaha..

....[eera]...

My basses section...Crazy...hahahaa.....frm right...Solomon,front, Nadirah, back Shi Ying, See Soon and on your furtherest left is me!!! hehehe...Ok...the back are my juniors...Frm left, Gavin, Syazarwan and Muzaki. hehehe...I posed not minding my skirt...ooppsss! Luckily...you see all black...hehehehe..:)

....[eera]...

I'm high...

I'M GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously....I realised that 'it' lives i the same block as me!!! Can u belive it??? OOhhh MMyyy GGGooddd!!!! I can't believe it! Seriously... no wonder he's sssooo fucking familiar!!! ooppsss soree...for that crude remark... Then in school keep seeing him...During recess...Aft school...and he looked at me!!!! hehehehe....Then aft band too....and he looked at me again!!! Uuggghhh!!!! I'm being gross now....stop it shaheera ...u're a disgusting, pathetic fatty big butt old auntie....You don't deserve such pleasures in life.... :( Then went to tuition and i asked farah if she knows any damai guy frm our block and she said him...So farah asked what's up with him...but i didn't tell her untill we were about to go home. That day i became crazy me again. Donno why...hahahahaha....there i go again....hhehehehe...Farah laughed like shit when i told her the truth...aaarrghhh!!!! Then went tm....Was about to go home....then...suddenly...I SAW H#*%^#%^#%^#*%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I and Farah screamed and sceamed in the mall when we saw him....hahahahahaha.........My hands practically went all shivery, cold and clamy......Farah insisted we followed him but i was reluctant but folloed anyway ';cos i still want to see him.We followed untill he went in to eat in mac's. But we didn't follow 'cos 9.35 pm oredi... Need to go home. So sadly...two long lost kindered souls went apart their own ways...haiz...That night me and farah couldn't sleep. I lay in my bed....awake for a long time... OK!!!BACK TO REALITY!!!!

This week has been ssooo high for me...Like as if I had taken drugs....Never will i take drugs...They disgust me to the core...Any way...My emaths test, chem, bio was a big total mess...Donno wats got into me. I vowed to go to mjc. My hml 'o's are round the corner...I guess the band pracs were pulling my energy level down. And on Wed, 13 april, we went to Singapore Conference hall For our SYF......It was a lifetime experience.....I, the freak king didn't freak out on the stage!!!! I've succeded!!!Ok, that's the best part...but i did some big, gigantic, enormous mistake....I don't wanna say...its a mess...Then...when the moment of truth was about to come...I really felt a feeling that i had never expected to be present...I felt that the band was really united....we hold hands together and i mean the whole band....as we waited for the moment of truth...Sincerely I thought that we would get bronze or COP. But we managed to attain a silver... Nah...my target were gold..But it didn't happen...nvrm..i'm still happy with the results...I screamed and screamed when we heard the results...Good gracious...the feeling was heart throbbing...In the bus we took pictures....Reached school and still taking pictures....hahaha...I posed like a mad girl...Donno wat's got into me...hehehehe... Then fri...photo taking...I'll show u our band u and my section...

Buzzzing offf....
bbuuzzzz eera..

LoL

Lol....I'm back...again.. In school hours even...hahaha...with 4t1 i the midst... Lol... so noisy... but i'm in pieces...physics test in a moment... but i don even care to study... shit ... must study... but my head in a mess... later el oral..band...higher malay... how am i going to go to three places at the same time???? Divide myself in 3??? great... real great... physics test in jiffy... I'm coing!!!!!!!!!!

buzzing off... buzzzz...

......... :]

I'm high this week totally...saw 'it' a few times this week and i become crazy me again...but still can't forget h......Grrrr.....i hate myself...But i'm still happy....hahahaha.....Got lots of tests...new lamo teacher for bio....hiaz...how to pass...sure to fail...had speech day....hehehehe.....saw 'it' again....Then had band...This is the best part....Band had improved a lot...Sr and Eb was really nice when we played together. Then Mr Tan and Miss Lee went in to givesome motivation and support for us. But I still haven't even started my homework!!!!

SYF is 2 days more to go...and i need to focus!!! Buzzz offf....need to do my work..

Long time since i've drawn...but lurrvv abstract!!

....[eera]...

Back from camp!!!

Camp was sssosooooo great!!! I will never be able to forget my memories there!! The instructor, friends and what we did together as a group....I'll miss them....ooohhhh.... hahaha...I went in mud and got cuts and bruises..went for night walk and sang songs while walking...Went to the seaside and watch the night sky....sooo beautiful....Had delicious maels together, did our duties. The next day, did inisiatif and team-building games. Had to squeezeinto a small canvas together....hahaha...like tunas. Practised our cheers and item for that night then went for river challenge! Had to get into the pond filled with TADPOLES!!!! GROSSSS!!!!! Then we played the game....Then we did mass bathing...hhehehee...Then campfire night!!!! Best of all. Can't describe it....Then we had disco!!! No strings attched...I became the wildest me i've had ever done....danced and danced....with girls, boys...whoever... Then supper and sleeping time... Next morning....pack the tents and did duities...lucklyily no washing toilets!! Then the group had some private time with Jeremy...Take group photos, cheers and some bidding goodbyes...and we're off while singing the sarimbun song....

haiz...I'll cheerish this part of my life.....

Now...back to reality!!! The bahas yesterday was a flop!! Hhahaha....watever...it was an experienced for me though...

life's like that!
hahahahaha!!!!!

Lar...lar...lar....

Ages since I wrote in ...I'm fucking busy all day long even no time to pamper myself with food but ah...this is my life...Any way...my camp is on wednesday!!! Yeah!! Then I still have to prepare for the Debate Berita Harian competiton....This is soooo....nerve racking!! Its on Saturday, the next day after my camp. Then i still have tests and exams and SYF to prepare with!!!!! And my 'o's are just round the corner....Die....How to cope??? SYF is just the next week after my competition!! 2 competitons in a row!!!! ...Die...

I'll buzz off...Need to focus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!

YEAH!!! It's the march holidays!!!....but still have to come to school....boring!!! On mon got maintainance, tues got NE learning journey then band outing, on wed D n T exhibition..., thurs and fri, band whole day..and most of all...tons of homework!!!! haiz...But this week, many things had happened...On mon...I went to my new tuition centre...very fun but the work the teacher gave was hard...on wednesday...I went to our school netball match instead of gong to higher malay!! Kah...kah..kah..!!!Then after that I went back to school in a taxi and have sectional with mr wong...hahahahha...mum was sooo annoyed when she got to know i went to band...but she still doesn't know i skipped higher malay!!! hahahaa!!! but if she were to know bout it...she'll blow her top off ah....hahahaha...Then rushed to tuition then went home at like about 10pm...hahaha...went gallavanting at TM! kah..kah..kah...!!! On thurs...came for sectional late; had to finish the 8 page essay about AIDS....boring! Then went for sectional and i got right for most of the parts....hhhhmmmm....that's a miracle...i didn't know i could do it...Then after that... I sectional in the band store with rizal, Qijun, y-y, Jean Kaen and see soon. I played a lot wrong notes...hhahaha...need more practice with the tempo. We played a lot old songs... it was fun... playing music...release stress...LOVE MUSIC!!! Then Friday got PE...hahaha...played basketball with the girls...and get to know bout them more...Then went to band. Sectional the whole day...boring seh...We managed to do most of the parts ah...Then i cabut band..I rushed back home and went for tuition but this time farah wasn't with me...boring seh...she went to Indonesia...Anyway... I still went gallavanting again and arrived home at 10pm. hahaha... mum even called saying she was worried that i did not arrived home early...watever!! I don care!! See how rebellious i am now...I'm scared i will hurt her feelings ...but anyway...I also have a say in my life not only her... I felt sick and took panadol and went to sleep straight away. Then today I woke up feeling giddy but had to force myself to go to school at 6.30am. Even when its school days i did not wake up this early....Anyway.. iwent to school and had sectional again...Mr Wong take only the trombones, horns and trumpets...BORING!!! from 7.30 to 2pm! Only sectional an nothing else!!! Siaw ah!!By the fourth hour...nothing was heard...all had been knocked out...We also felt very hungry and went for food treasure hunting....hahaha...We only managed to find an unopened bottled peach tea. And we drank it!!! Then the welfare went to give out some biscuits...and we, the piranahs made a dash for it but Melissa, the piranah tamer stopped us for our crave of food. So we were left to sectional again.. We felt tired and all of us went in hibernation state....hahahha....All of us practically slept!! We were sooo bored, tired and hungry that all of us slept together on the tables. But then our necks become stiff. Then the clarinets came in and joined us in the boredom quest... We played the SYF song and then it was time for combined band!!! Hhehehehe...soo..happy!!! At least there's something to do! Then magically we played well!! It was ssooo nice that i did not wanna go home!! but had to...then went gallvanting with aishah to Singapore expo. There's a popular sale and we went there...Then went to rumah nenek and sleep to my content...ahhh... sooo relaxing!!!kih..kih..kih...

and one more thing before i sign off....THANX!!! to iylia for your effort to help me.. It really touched me when u wanted to help me till like that. Now, i'm more confident of my myself....Thanx ssooo much! Only god can repay your noble kindness to me. May god bless u!!

long time no write...i'm sucklingly so tired...Just had cross country today in bedok reservoir..but i didn't run...the band performing. Even if i had run..there won't be any difference in the band's playing!! Even if i'm no more...no one would even notice....They tried to piss me off time and again...U all go and kiss my foot, butt and shit first ah before u want to piss me off!!!! suckers... Is my plaing that bad till i can't even play in syf??? ohh...i forgot!!! I'm just a walking statue who unfortunately could play the euphonium but sadly no music can come out...So..it doesn't qualify to go to syf!! Too bad....

There's common test every week...making me a walking zombie. And cik sham asking me why i had failed 2 tests...Only want me to get first in class but never appreciated or value my hard work. Never think how much slogging and sacrifice i had done...Shit!!! I had tried my best right?? Wat u want me to do?? Cheat in the tests is it?? Then mum didn't let me go to bintan for a social studies trip...it's only $125!!! And i'll be using my own money!! For goodness sake i don wanna use your money!!! The money in my bank account are all from the scholarships that i had won!! My own hard work!! Wat's wrong with that?? I'm not going there to enjoy, to study history!! For God's sake, I'm 15!!!!!!!!! Not 5 years old!!!!!!!!

Those suckers...I tried to think positive.... I tried to convince myself that u are doing this for the band's sake...but your actions totally contradicts with wat i thought... Wat is this?? When u play...u purposely play loudly so that all of them could hear how well u play..But when u all played wrong notes want to piss me off...u will not play so people hear SHAHEERA playing so ugly!! And i'll be accused of play badly... And mr wong..doesn't even noe my name... even when they need a librarian and i'm in front of me..they will not approach me....OOhhh...i forgot again.. I'm just a statue...

Unfortunately...this statue's ears are not yet deaf...and i'm not dumb...i'm just stupid... watch out suckers...

you noe wat...life sux!!

Fuh yo!! At last!! I managed to get a new template!! I experimented with it for the past 2 hrs!! hahaha..but still i haven't finished wif it yet soo...stay tuned....wwooohhooo!!!!