tet..

this is sssooo stupid! this blog website is in chinese!!!! ???? fortunately i can go in. clicking by memory... stupid. AARRRGGHHH!!!! seriously i'm in a big bad mood. aaarrgghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! i dunno where to start... haiz...

its been ages since i've blogged. my saturdays are now spent mugging. no rests at all. mug. mug mug. practically i have no rest. its making me crazy. crazy.crazy. edhaiz...nvm... i'll look at it on the bright side.. i wont give up, for o levels sake. o levels. o levels.

i found out that many ppl want to go to acj. i tot i'm the few ppl who wanted to go there but in fact..., many ppl are competing to go there. the competition is stiff. i dont know if i even can qualify for jc anot. if i dont go.. cik sham will b ssoo disappointed wif me...darn..watever..

the last week of sch for this term was ssoo sucky.. i didnt complete my hw at all. all anyhow done. every lessons is such a bore for me.. my eyes keep dropping. i feel soo tired. i just wanna sleep... sleep... haiz... my tests marks was ssoo average..while i saw my classmates tests results was ssoo much more better than mine. most of them got like 20 something/25 !!! this suck. totally. hu ha!! "i'm ssoo over the clouds!!!" great totally!! then the teachers gave us ssoo much hw...i'm crying over this... pls some one help mee!!!!! how am i supposed to finish it? how? how? how? dont they c that we have abt 7 subjts to revise and we have to complete the hw in 7 days in which these includes our time for remedial classes, cca, tuition, time for ourselves, family and frens??? dont they ever tot of this?? (and this stupid radio i'm listening to is making my ears bleed by playing techno songs!!! eehhww...) i know i'm not the only one experiencing this, other student are also having this.. haiz..student life....

oh yes.. did i mention abt frens just now?? ohk.. watevr...these days.. in sch i feel ssoo alone... alone, all by myself...those whom i tot were my frens are actually.. haiz..they treat me like... haiz..i feel ssoo slenger ah...terhegeh-hegeh kat org yg tak nak diri nie.. pathetic me... that time i was going wif them..(i wont say who) they actually left first and didnt tell me..!! they just went off!! for eg, u and ur grp of frens going to eat together but then u go toilet then suddenly u come back u found out that they had left u when u all had promised to go out together!! how'd u feel?? then they just say oh sorry eh.. i forgot all abt u..how could u forget bout me.. am i that unimportant???? i feel so unappreciated man!! then aft that, one of them said, eh shaheera, u are not invited ah...u go away can?? i was like cursing i my heart. and crying. i cant tahan them, i tot they are my frens but oh...i'm again wrong.. they are not...there are other incidents which is too long for me to type. haiz... the frens that i have cherished since lower sec life is crumpling.. hiq, aishah, khai, azilah...all, gone.. hiq is going away wif nat and jannah. aishah j. always wif kamilah.azilah and khai used to hate each other so much but they are now like best frens. and me?? stuck in the middle. middle of where? i donno, middle of nowhere, i guess. how i really wish we could be together again like last time. i can still remember our trip to wild wild wet..it was wild!! haha..but i guess that would only be dream.. at least i still have my band frens. aishah s. , mu en, my juniors, all of the band members, my band. my refuge. and not forgetting my longest bestest best fren, farah. always there for me..haiz...

i have nowhere to vent my anger on. at least here, none of my family members knows bout my blog so they dont report anything to my mum. if mum knows bout any of the things i write i my blog, she sure go crazy. on wed i'm going field trip to bintan and they are ssoo worried. do u have toothpaste? insect repellent? at night u dont go out alone ohk.. bla bla bla.... i'm just going for 3 days and 2 nites. this is ssoo sufocating..eerrgghh!! liking english songs also is a crime..stupid. she says i dont know old evergreen songs, so nice yet i dont know. but like stupid, vulgar songs like eminem songs... hey come on lah.. the olds songs are ssoo dragy and the lyrics unrelevent on today's issues. look at eminem's songs... ssoo much diff... it potrays wat we are feeling.. she simply do not understand me. these few days i keep fighting wif her. she still treat me like her little gerl...i'm 16 for heaven's sake!!!

i dunno when she will realise that this little gerl of hers had grown up...! this is really stupid. i guess i need to eat lots of chocolates to make me happy.. hu ha! haiz..ta.