gosh..

i'm totally in a confusion...total confusion. so many emotions going through me right now. saddness, happy, angry, gulit.. haiz.. dunno lah.. but mostly sadness..

it happened on tues... the last band prac for the sec fours... Uwah!!! i wanna cry!!! it was the saddest band prac. we could not start our prac as usual cos of the oral in the hall. so we do breathing execises and listen to band songs trying to decide wat song to play for syf. then we do drills. hahaha.. sec fours no need to march. we train them. but seriously, their marching neeed ALOT of improvements. then when going back to music room, all the sec fours from behind the science block we march all the way to the area near parade square... ahahaha... then we all play all the old songs in the band store while the rest prac in the music room. but alot of the sec fours didnt attend this prac. waliao.. wat seh.. should spend the last days together lah.. then when assmbling time.. my sect juniors cried.. many ppl cried... :) i was ssoo touched.. but i only cried little bit only... but i tell myself dont cry..must not cry.. then we played a little trick on the juniors... hahaha.. made them do 70 push ups together... ahhaha.. then band dismissed and we took photos.. oh.. it was ssoo sad... aft all these yrs together.. now we will be seperated... uwah!!! i will miss u guys!!! but still got balloon hat festival to perform.. the last performance in june. must take lots of pics!
then aft that went to tuition without going home.. wah.. i ssoo tired... i didnt even studied for bio prac exam for the next day... haiz..
then aisyah called me and tell me those two things ah bout trumpet sect.. i was ssooo freaking shocked... super shocked!! i didnt know wat to say. but i know aisyah felt really sad. i understand how she feels. but u have to carry on wif your life right?
i realise that i'm losing many things. i'll lose my hse; my parents wanna sell it. but i dun want and they should know why. i will not see some of my frens aft o's cos they migrating.. so sad.. then i'll be leaving the band.. gosh.. i must be strong..
##*%&$($)*(@ ^& then school is so depressing.. o's coming. so much to do so little time. exams coming... haiz.. i must be strong!!