i am me. therefore i am.

gosh. making my way from home to sch to KK hospital and back all over again this whole week is making me so tired. i havent have much progress with my studying. *pulls hair on her head and screams* I NEED TO STUDY!!!!! gah. cik sham is in hospital but i have yet to take care of her. basically because i have to go to sch almost everyday. ggrr. intended to take care of her on thurs morn but theres band prac. oh man. does that mean i have to miss sectionals again? gggrr. two more weeks to concert. *sobs*sobs i am so haunted by tues band prac that i just hope the earth can open up and swallow me. i feel so much guilt now. towards cik sham because i cant take care of her. gosh i will never forget what she had done for my fam. towards the band for screwing up tues band prac and cant attend prac on time.

oh well the only thing that made my day on tues was the section lunch and the pirates movie. :) :)gosh pirates was ssoo funny!!! hahaha

my tongue feels tired. but oh well, arban book and the mouthpiece will be my friend for now.:)why during sectionals i can play alone but during combines i cant play?? why cant i triple tongue fast enough? ggrr. why cant i still switch from double tongue-ing to triple tongue-ing in like just a split sec? why cant my brain switch from simple to compund time fast enough? why oh why. tell me why. this is making me mad. like seriously. concert is in two weeks time and i guess that will be the last concert for the j2s. i will miss them so freaking badly. i need tissues on 20th june. oh man.. this is ssoo sad. nvm, i will take loads and loads of pics!!

i just realise something. 14 june-16june band camp, 17june-19 june THE TRIP and 20th june-muse concert. wow. i am super dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cant wait for fri. but i still havent tell mum abt. i cant bring myself to bring it up. since cik sham is gonna be discharged that day i will have to be there what. duh. aiyo. headache la. mum will surely nag and nag and nag. argh.

my.. two stupid things i did today- i drank coffee at 9.30pm just know and i cant sleep now and there is band prac tmr. i will be super tired. second stupid thing; i took a cab at 7.57pm today to KK hosp! how stupid is that. and i yeah, i have to pay the $2 peak hour surcharge. gggrrr.

argh. hols are supposed to make u happy. apparently i am feeling only half happy.

ergh argh ggrr. i will try to continue to study now.
chiao