nothing is black and white

is my decision the right one? i dont know and i will never know. sometimes, i feel glad that i made this decision, but there were times when i felt it was all a mistake. regretted all this in a way.

but life is a series of decision making. and these decisions are never either/or. decisions are complex, and there are always competing factors. to look for simple explanations is bias of the human brain, but it doesnt correspond to reality. nothing is ever as starightforward as it appears.

so, lets not ponder on our past decisions but make the best of what we have now.

like the looming a levels. -_- (raghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.)

today, daddy said something that made me think. it was one of those rare moments where i actually talked to him about school and friends. so i was telling him about some of my musically-talented friends. how some can play a single note and make the hairs of the people who listened to it stood up. how they can create such beautiful music without much effort. then he said that its because they are sincere in what they do. thats why they can do it well.

so, havent i been playing sincerely?

havent i been doing everything straight from my heart?
i think i have.

sincerity. so many questions. nevermind, lets stop here.

and dont mind the time. i just cant sleep.
chiao.