why oh why!

huh.. its sun already? why oh why???????????? i was just starting to enjoy myself. wah lau...
and terms is in 2 weeks time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. i vow to get at least C for all my subjects. hhmm maybe thats quite a high target. nvm, aim high.

i'm trying to forget what happened. i guess nobody's perfect and i should live on. depend on no one except myself. and i cant wait for band practice. 5 days without my eupho feels like torture.

i guess now i can appreciate all those long slow orchestra peices. its quite nice actually. i use to wonder why some people can listen to 30mins of piano concertos without falling asleep. now i know why. i guess u have to go through the musical muturity yourself then you'll understand the beauty of orchestra music.

since i was quite free, i started thinking. whats the singificance of us living on earth? why do we continue to live on despite all the challenges and obstacles that we face almost everyday? i think i know the answer now. :)

ohw..can i have another week of holiday. ragh.

chiao.

Dikir 2008

here's the the dikir pictures. :))))))))))))))))))))))))










oh lalala. our dikir performance. melayu power sehhh.



baek ahhh. eh wahh.

pachelbel frangipani and white lilies

i thought i should light up this blog with something more cheerful. :) ah, beautiful.

pachelbel's canon in d is making me go high. schubert's serenade too.ah. they make me feel serene, relaxed. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

wonders of music. it makes me feel better. sooo much.

chiao.

why?

i feel like i have so much to say but now, i'm kinda clueless. ok, first things first, dikir barat was awesome. i really enjoyed myself on stage. now, i am voiceless due to all the shouting and screaming that i did for the last few days.but i was almost late for school. oh well what the hell.

this will be quite a different post than the previous one. i miss doing what i love most. like drawing and drawing and drawing and drawing. and no one sees or critises it. b'cos what i draw is a reflection of what i feel at that time. talking about feelings...

i may not be a loving person b'cos i dont know how to show people that i love them. but that doesnt mean i dont love you. i am not the kind of girl who says i-love-u-s to people and give them hugs whenever they want or say you are my sunshine or mushy stuff like that. just b'cos i dont do all this doesnt mean i have no feelings just that i keep them to myself. and that means you cant treat me anyhow you like ok. i'm just so angry with some of my fucking friends. how they treat me so nicely when they have a problem and needs my help or when i have something that they want. wow. how they treated me. now, when i dont have anything and they dont have any problem. they just discard me. leave me. treat me with such cold stares and remarks. theres just this tingling feeling in my heart that i cant describe. but i can tell you, its painful.

now, i dont know who to turn to. b'cos its so painful, i want to cry. i want to turn to you but i'm afraid i will just be a burden to you or hurt you.

and i still dont understand, maybe i will never be able to. why are you so unreasonable? i didnt mean to hurt you and i feel sad that i did. so sad i feel like i want to... i dont know. why,why?

theres just something stuck in my throat now. my eyes feels hot. whatever la. i want to start drawing now.

ah, i do have someone to turn to. GOD.

PS happy chinese new year. bak kua, kua, kua. HAHAHA.


chiao.

i feel good :)

this weeks been like..i-dont-care-anymore kinda week. 'cos i'm like already in a holiday mood. tomoprrow dikir performance in front of the school. i am sssoo egg-cited!!! wohooo! yesterday's prac was a bomb! then econs test. i feel quite ggod about it. but no, too confident is bad.

and. i've been getting sick these few days. again. yes again. like what the hell right. i've been eating panadols for like days. and my stupid fever still wont subside. oh well. cong says i work too hard. hah, i wish man. i seriously wish thats the situation now. haha. ahw.. gtg for PE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i feel gooddddddddddddd.
hahahahha.

chiao.

economics blues

this iktiraf song never fail to bring me to tears and realise the greatness of God.

econs test in a few hours time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

haiiiizzzzzzzz

i need food. chocolates and coffee.

NOW.

i think we really gotta buck up people. haiz. that, especially apply to me.
and i seriously feel that the changes in the qm room system is partly because of my blunder that day. i dont like it. and i still feel darn guilty abt it!
and the puncuality issue is... ergh.. whatever.

now, now. went for dentist check up last thurs. and guess what, due to my surgery, i may not be able to perform in swiss. and i wont be playing for VCH concert either. i am so sad and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh about this. well, the VCH concert is confirm i guess.

i'll just pray to God that i'll recover fast.

oh my god econs test like 2 days more!! i am so nervous! aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

haiizzzzzzzzzzzzz

chiao la.

stupid

sometimes, i just be plain freaking stupid and blur block like sotong causing people trouble and all. this is one of those times when i seriously hate myself so much. i cause trouble and other people have to take the blame. scold me. hit me. i feel like saying the f word la. i am so angry with myself. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

i feel like i've done a zillion wrong things. just whats wrong with me? why am i behaving like this?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

i wanna stab at something to release all these emotions.

chiao.

so how?

ok, my bad.. i've learnt my lesson. when you are sick, stay at home and rest. i thought i could still go on for band prac on sat when i am already feverish on fri. and so.. on sat, i cant even play my tuning note without feeling breatheless. i was shoo-ed from practicing and had to sit at LT 4 and watch them play paganini. although i was half asleep all the way, i could hear them play. and i was awed! it sounded damn nice! i'll say better than the recording that i had. seriously. even dr lee said they played beautifully that day. wahhh.. if we continue on playing like that and improving, the gold in switz will be ours man! haha.

i cant wait to get well soon and start studying properly again. gahhh. each time i take my medicines, i'll fall asleep 'cos its the kind of medicine which makes you sleep.but if i dont take, i'll have to suffer this sickness. so how? both situation disallow me from studying and concentrating properly. so how?how, how, how???? should i go to school? if i dont, i'll miss alot of lessons. but if i go, i may get worse. so how?

Chipmunks and mouthpieces

hahahaha freaking funny. they use mouthpiece only u know. hahahaha

Randomness

i am just plain lazy to blog now or felt too tired. ah.. i need brain boosters and energy supplements. i feel sssoo tiredddddddd. and sick, stupid phlegm.

schools getting more hectic and i'm trying to keep up. with band almost everyday, each time, by the time i reach home i'll be so tired, i'll just fall asleep on my study table and ended up not finishing a single thing. like yesterday night when i am supposed to finish my malay lit homework. arghhhhhhhhh. i'm so angry with myself. ah.. i can play my armenian dances solo parts already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yessaaaaaaaaaa!

i still cant foeget the joke that divinia cracked during econs. hahaha.
divi: sir, is kfc considered an inferior good or a normal good?
mr mash: erm... (sir in his thinking mode) usually it is a normal good..
divi: no, sir, its finger likin good sir!
HAHAHAHAHA freaking funnyyyyyyyyy

awwws and nicole has flew off to australia. good bye friend, i'll miss u. aaahhh so saddddddd.

now i know why..i've got the answer, why some people finds it so difficult to show that they love or care someone or just the deep feelings that u feel. hehe. now i knowww... hhmmm...

made testube thingy with my class. quite fun la. i made one which is rainbow coloured. sounds easy yeah.. u needs lots of patience to mix the right amount of colours. that special tube will be for mr lau. he deserves it. :)
okies, banding time! wwwwwwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

chiao.

hate love love hate

i love u but sometimes.. i hate u.

i know i shouldnt feel this way.

i just cant help it.

i dont want to fight with u anymore.

please, let it go.

aahh.

chiao

The start of homework piling up, up, up and away!!

awww, i'm on cloud nine now.. shant tell anybody about this! HEHEHE. isnt it amazing how a smile can make your day...


and,and, thank u seha for the help. :) i'll give u back what i owe you 'cos i know your life is not any easier than mine.

i dont like tuesdays because my timetable has 1 hour break every few periods. and then there's swim PE next week. how i hate wearing that stupid swimsuit. darn.. after that rush for band prac.. tsk.. wet hair and all. oh well, the only egg-citing thing on tues is band prac. haha.

wed is awesome! only 2 lessons. but but but. with mass pe and i survived! cool seh..

thurs is lectures and lectures and more lectures. by 1.30pm, my brain juices were sucked dry. what with GP mass media and geog mass movement. mass, mass, massively overwhelmed by the workload! aahhhhhhhhhhh. but i end early la. yay! and edwin's birthday celebration. the fed ups delivery, the tau pok-ing and euphonium prestige label made me feel so tickled. oh yes, not forgeting the disney princess balloon! ahahahahaha. 'congratulations, its your birthday today! happy birthday to you.. bla, bla...' hahahaha, oh man. band was quite bad, dr lee was in a bad mood and started scolding everybody.

by fri, i just want my sleep. and i gym-ed! yessa!

now, time to tackle the never-ending pile of homework. way to go!


ta rah!
chiao.

aaahhhhhhhhhhhh

3 consecutive days of school and banding makes me go aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY EDWIN! :))))))))))))))))))))))

a whole load of stuff going on. i feel so tired.

damn..

geog tutorial mass movement

human geog lect 7

econs macro tutorial A

econs test in 2 weeks time

H2 malay compo.

Analysis of chapter 5,6,7

math practice question no 8,9,10.

GP mass media essay.

WOW. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok, chill. only the second week of school.

chiao.

living

live the life u love

love the life u live.

think positive

think positive

think positive.

ah, again,my mouth got the better of me.

think positive.

deep, deepa, toodeep, verydeep, deepy!

ah, its the second day in school and i felt really sleepy in the morning. my timetable is quite satisfying this year, compared to last year. no more NL classrooms! and climbing up the stairs early in the morn after assembly to get to the hall. haha. yay! and i have tons of homework already la. and the teachers keep reminding us of As. ahhhhhhhhhhh a levels? fun o rama fund raising getting started. so is my class! and i still have to sell the coupons!


deep, deepy, deepa. toodeep! HAHAHA.

ah, ok la, back to work la.

chiao.

aloha 2008,byeee 2007!!!

ah, KL is super duper uber freaking fun. hehehehehe.i am so fat now. gawd, i think i wont be able to do PE anymore. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i ate and ate and ate and ate. but mostly i ate the food that i cant eat here in sg like subway, pretzels and gelato and fish and co and erm.. i cant remember what i ate... yummmmmmmmmm....... will post pics here when i feel like it. haha. and sorry people, i didnt get u guys anything because i didnt shop at all except for food.

homework at last done! except that econs online learning where the system always cock up. stupid.

i cant wait for school. whats in store for me in 2008? i feel kinda excited but nervous as well. i know there will be alot of obstacles for me. there will be school to cope with, homework, tests, prelims and a's. then there's band overseas competition where i have to work really hard. this one, i really gotta make sure i really improve because i want to be part of making acband proud, since i've missed the chance this year.. oh well, dont mention this or i'll turn into a waterfall. and concerts too, march muse and june concert. then theres ac fun-o-rama. through this,i really hope i can forge deeper friendship with my classmates, becuase i dont want to waste my 2 years with aa3 just like that. and mcs drama production. plus dikir performances. ouch. i'll be super busy. and i need to conquer a levels. a levels. i hope GOD save me from that.

it felt like it was just yesterday that i first came into ac. i'm feeling nostalgic here.. hahaha. i didnt expect i'll get in ac, seriously. and i didnt think about ac or acband at all before o levels. i even had a bad impression of ac schools. basically i dont like the people because they are arrogant. but on the contary, i'm wrong. untill i came for tune-in. and i was there all along. along the way i have learnt to love acjc and acband. i was darn scared i couldnt get in. furthermore, mum dont like me being in ac. but i got through. first 3 months was so fun. my og were great.

they made me feel at ease.

then its aa5. gawd, i wouldnt trade them for anything. i love them so much. i love my subject combi. hist, art and econs h2 and h1 math. too bad i cant take that combi anymore. especially art. hhmm... when i was in sec 4, my art teacher offered me to take o level art even though its quite late compared to other people, but the principal said no as i already have higher malay and dnt to cope with. wth. i was feeling so sad. tsk. maybe i'm just destined not to learn art. band was quite crazy. i was struggling with festive overture. the running notes and the super high A and Bb note that was in that piece. but i guess i manage to do it. its a struggle,no doubt. i saw other j1s struggle too. i've never practised so hard in my life for band before. but its worth it.

o levels results came and i.. oh well, cut it short i didnt do well as i wanted to. i cried like nobody's business. untill the ex-seniors frm damai band had to console me. haha. mum was puzzled as to why i'm crying since i did ok. i was seriously worried i wouldnt get into ac again. i was so afraid, i cried again. haha. i remember that day there's sectionals. and i have no mood. edwin has no mood too b'cos the mep teacher said something that made him angry and amirah thought of cancelling it too. i felt sad too, i wont be able to meet my friends anymore as some of them had been transfered out. hhmm.. i miss them. then i

meet aa3. i wasnt too happy. i just dont like their bimbotic and girly ways. i tried to adapt to them and at the same time the hectic schedules, band practices, homework, tests and what with family too. yes, i was struggling. mum was constantly nagging at me for sleeping so late. and i keep fighting with her. oh well. march muse came and i was so nervous. i still cant believe i performed on esplanade. not once but thrice this year. wow. then syf auditions. it still gives me the chills and i still remember the moments vividly. for those who stood by my side. thank u. i will remember what u did and everything that u said. especially my section. :) the days after that were quite horrible. i couldnt face the band members. basically i felt devastated. but yeah thats not the end of the world. i try to think positively and i try to help them whenever i can. afterall, its for the band's sake. syf came. 11 may 2007. it was a horrible week. training for nafa was like.. ahh.. i felt soo drained. then it was the common test week. so i had very little sleep. i studied geog the day before and i couldnt answer a single question. i felt so horrible. i cried again. man.. how many times did i broke down? and i got scolded by ms sng during the syf itself. i cant believe acband gwh. its surreal. i felt happy but sad. dunno la. mixed emotions. and my girlfriends planned a surprise birthday bash at seoul garden. i broke down again la. tsk.. i cry alot. its like the worst birthday i had in my whole life but its sweet at the same time.

after that, its scheherazede. things got better as i try to improve myself. wow, all those double and triple tonging..

before i realise it, i'm on the train to negeri sembilan with the mcs peeps. hehe. so much fun and we surely bonded. mcs drama too. hahaha. then terms. well, it was totally failure for me. expected it la. after that i vowed to myself that i will not fail promos.

then the later half of 2007 was a blur. basically i was fighting with my emotions. yeah,coping to let go of...:) let me keep this to myself. i suddenly realise that the j2s had step down and i sure felt the loss. we sounded different, hollow i guess. i dont know. and then life continues on with more banding. i guess we have grown quite close as a batch. promos coming and i was studying like i never studied before. but now i can say i could have work harder. i was determined like crazy to overcome promos. and yeah, i did! but the moments mounting to the results was nerve wrecking. i cried again. tsk. again. promos over christmas concert and band fest. well, great concert, i made new friends. and learnt some things.

2007 sure has thought me some things. about people. about emotions. about life. but it has left me with questions too. alot of them which i know i will discover if i'm patient enough.

now, good bye 2007. heloo 2008!

i pray to god u give me the strength i need to carry on.

i am a j2? wow. HEHEHEHE.

chiao.

another lalalala!!!

i could say no more, christmas concert was super awesome. despite the bumpers that we went through... like me screwing up amazing grace during concert and not during the soundcheck, darren blasting as usual, the js boy's eupho valve got stuck and the whole band screwing up harry potter... it was still awesome! 'cos in the end, its not the result that matters, its the journey along the way that matters.
singing on the choir gallery was an experience only us ac band get. hahaha. felt high, so i started screaming and singing dunno what 'cos i dunno christmas songs lyrics.. hahaha. dr lee was funny. hahaha. we sang tuning note and as usual he pointed to his ear telling us to listen.hahaha.

guess who was the one late for section breakfast? meeee!!! hahaha. loads of gifts exchanged. yeah i got loads of cookies, chocolates, candycanes and loads,loads more. my paper bag felt heavy. thank u guys!! and ian gave me a vietnamese hat. oh my, thanks! hahaha.

will post the pictures i took here, when i get it. not much though.

now, i have to finish my last bits of homework before i fly to KL and be back in time for school!!! oh lalala, homework never felt so good!!

KL here i comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chiao.

lalalalala

section outing was.. :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

thai express at city link mall. then its chocolate shopping. then its yoghurt time. nice, i took peach flavour. took some pics. at this rate, i dont think we'll have a full album by the end of two years.. haha, must camwhore more!!! but, i'm broke, i brought so many present for christmas concert... and i still have to buy school stuff. at this rate how to save for swiss trip.. hhmm, i have to scrimp and save!!!

tmr is concert day. yay!!!! i am ssoo egg-cited and nervous at the same time. breakfast at delifrance with section mates, i hope nobody's late.. hahaha...

next week back to school!!! i cant wait!!! wweee!!!

acbacnd, lets rock esplanade again!!!

chiao.

bad, worse, worst

i got scolded by dr lee today.

now i feel sad. :(

well, its my fault though, i didnt play the way he want me to. :(((

and i said something i shouldnt have to a friend.

now i feel worse.

i always talk before i think and end up hurting people's feelings.

now i feel worst.

oh wells

i should say sorry to that friend of mine.

chiao.