ohh.. yeah... the week could not have been better! i've finished my artefact!! wohoo!!! of course, that, wif much scrutiny under the watchful eyes of mr leong. even soldered my circuits for me! i mean, soldering is easy wat.. but he wants to do it for me.. then ok lorh.. the next stage is to take lots of pics and finishing up the folio. man.. that's still alot of work to do..i have to re-do my exploration of ideas part again and my detailed development and finish up my production planing and evaluation. man.. that's a huge workload man.. most tests are done.. phew.. in capital letters.
but i pity bai.. u know wat.. her artefact broke!! into two!!! it happened actually on fri when mt period. me and bai when to dnt workshop and khai went to see mr poon for amath. me and bai want to take pic so bai put her artefact outside 'cos outside good lighting. then bai go and take the softball bat frm ms tan. mr pek and mr lee see me outside taking care of the things ask me to put them inside. ask me only ah? dunno how to help ah? i cant possibly leave one and take in the other one right? then bai came wif khai and the bat. go outside lah.. test and take pic. then bai ask khai to hit the artefact wif the bat while she take the pic. then khai, she dunno, she go and hit the artefact like u hit a ball. the rod broke and the switch fly off to dunno where. wah.. mr pek scream at her like what seh.. and khai felt so guilty. bai went home straight. and i went home to bring back my artefact and had lunch wif khai. khai was on the verge of crying. she felt so guilty until today oso still ask me about bai. then went back to sch for band phototaking. saw netballers. went up to bai and ask her lah.. then she say all ok oreadi. but she still look sad. b'cos sure if mr leong knows bout this.. haiz.. mr leong gonna kill her man.. hish..
then phototaking was superb. got formal band, informal, and sections.. ahaha.. fun,fun..

and.. amazingly.. on fri, i played netball wif sch uni during pe!! i forgot my pe shirt. ahaha.. sweating like hell.. eiihhww.. i went home and shower b4 coming for phototaking. hmm.. and alas! i didnt screw up my chem prac!! of course.. wif the brilliant help of mr hao pei... but only little bit here and there.. ahaha..

ok.. my migraine is getting more and more frequent.. gosh.. it'll be hard for me to concentrate on studying now. it will just come anytime like that time during higher malay lessons.. even cikgu notice that i was in pain. haiz.. but,oh.. wat do i care.. i'll go and continue study now..

"Yes, I love Allah. Allah is my fountain of Life and My Savior. Allah keeps me going day & night. Without Allah, I am no one. But with Allah, I can do everything. Allah is my strength.

chiao ppl! :)

do i sound too saddist? hahaha.. the only good thing is.. i'm gonna finish my dnt!!!!!! wohooo!!! join the last wire and i can take pics for my folio. then can cont'd wif my folio and othe subjs. hiaz.. today i slack. didnt do a single thing. only go dnt then watch dvd and on the com. hah.. i'm gonna study aft this. even though tmr i have religious class then tuition aft that. i think i'll be scolded by andy. (why do keep getting ppl scolding me?) b'cos i didnt come to tuition the whole week. heh.. i have tests.. i couldnt cope.. so had to sacrifice tuition..

i think my time management is very bad. how.. wat to do... hah.. okay lah.. study time now..
adios suckers.
p.s. i still remember it!

-_-

this week i so moody for me.. nothing has been right. lots and lots of tests.. i think the teachers are going crazy. for bio, we keep doing the same kind of experiments. eL o level oral is coming. and i hell better buck up on my eL. physics.. hiaz.. i dont understand wat the hell mrs chan is talking about.. fleming's law, lenz law. then chem was alright, as long as its not prac. 'cos i will be in a blur but luckily hao pei and yan xiu help me. emaths.. i dont care.. since that day.. i dont give a shit to her.. watever..i'm still angry. S.s. and hist was okay.. hml is getting harder and harder. and i mean freaking hard!!

i guess not enough rest made me all edgy but the day we wore our racial harmony day clothes was the worst. firstly, its not even racial harmony day. secondly, ppl wear stupid clothes!! and i say dumb, stupid clothes!! i mean this is the racial harmony day of SINGAPORE!!! eerrghgh!! teens these days are only full of wayang. thirdly, the activity to commemorate the day was equally stupid, ask us to make tang yuan.. watever... pathetic. and ppl can go arnd.. taking pics.. hipocrites..

if u're angry by this remark, then piss off.. i dont want to be a nice gerl anymore and then aft that get bullied. its pathetic.

those i thought who were my frens were nvr there for me. but when they need my help.. wah.. keep asking me if we're frens or not. ass-hole. then when i'm in such a state, all run away. i'm a what? ***-off lah hipocites ppl!!

hell, i'm not gonna let these ppl take control of my life. no way. i'm gonna focus on my O's and hell i'm gonna go in jc. no matter wat. i dont care. watch out ppl. here i come.
adios suckers

this week had been a very bad week. i got scolded by ms nura for not handing in my hw. ass-hole!! unreasonable, ego-eccentric! i was waiting for her to go over the ques wif me personally b'cos i had made an appointment wif her. but yet.. she sclod us until like that. ass-hole...
then i fight wif mum.. watever.. i'm not toking bout this..
then.. dnt.. mr leong say i have to re-do my base!!! i am going to finish oredi only left wif assembling the whole thing. its not that there's anything wrong wif it! then say i have to re-do again!!!! EEERRRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i am ssoo angry wif thse teachers!!! damn it man!
oh i am ssooo angry!
chiao!

polka dots.

the fifa is soon gonna be over!! no!! ok, i watched the match btw italy and germany. how they scored the goals was kinda funny. its like.. whoa confirm penalty ah.. then suddenly italy scored. then like a few secs later, they scored again. germany was dumbfounded. khai was super sad they didnt win. i and bai keep saying 'nazism!' wif the hand sign. ahahaha.. i am ssoo gonna watch the finals man!
surprisingly cikgu didnt ask for the hml hw. ahaha, i think she guessed it. we didnt finish it. untill now. ahaha.. hey, its hard ok.. i dont understand the ques. watever. there's more and more hw everyday. its getting more and more stressful. hiaz..
yesterday, went for dnt.. i am ssoo gonna finsh this as fast as i can. seriously its taking lots of my time! then, went to lunch wif aisyah at bdk mac. then on the way saw wanshi, idy, stacey, xinyi, jyngle and some other band mbmrs (gerls) playing basketball. went to mac saw jk. aisyah saw him first then we slowly came up to him and sit beside him. he didnt noticed for like 30 secs.. then he looked up and saw us. his expression was ssoo funny. eh.. dont scare me leh.. did we scare u jk? ahahaha.. u were so engrossed in ur work. then we eat wif them.. rizal came, alif, ling mei and yong liang. all study together lah.. so good rite.. ahaha.. i know, i know...
alif told me that an alumni band is in the planning.. yay!! when i saw the mbmbrs list.. i was like who the hell are these ppl?? like duh.. my ex-seniors.. whom i didnt know existed. ahahaha.. i really hope it can be formed.. yay!!
ok lah.. need to go..
chiao.

boring

tell u this.. my life is ssoo freaking boring!!everyday.. go to sch..aft sch.. in dnt workshop or its higher ml classes.. haiz..
the starting of sch week was really pathetic b'cos i was really sleepy in class... ahaha..not used to it yet.. but the time table changed and change classes too.. which is great b'cos its kinda near the canteen and no need to climb the stairs.. ahaha lazy me.
tuition was getting more hectic as i had to come almost everyday to revise sec 3 topics. watever lah i dont mind being tired. hml classes was really funny..b'cos i asked a really stupid ques and the whole class laughed at me..untill bai and khai was still at it the next day. but nvm lah.. sumtimes i can be soo dumb and blur.
on tues was aisyah's b'day and i tried to give her a surprise but she already know.. i went to buy the cake straight aft sch wif jen kean, jia hao and solomon. but then, when we came back frm sch, she saw us and the cake. man! haiya.. but i just act cool and keep it in one of the canteen vendor's refrigerator. then i went for my dnt and aft band make her wet again. i splash lots of water! ahaha.. sang her a b'day song and cut the cake. she is ssoo lucky. at least she knows, the ppl ard her appreciate her alot. haiz..
ok lah.. that's about my boring routine..i wanna sleep. chiao.

-_-

at last i finished my hw!!! muahahaha!!! so happy!! but i'm trying to do some revision. hah, forcing myself!! but staying at home is soo boring. but need to study..study..study..
haiz, o levels.. i dont seem to be able to finish my dnt.. which is getting on my nerves..!!
do 1 single thing wrong and u have to do it again. mr leong p.m.s the whole workshop week. and shek ngai went sick i mean as in lost control. pity him though.. i think all of us going bonkers inside without ppl knowing it really..
heh seriously.. i must get things in my head straight. if not, my conscience will be hurting me and i wont be able to face them.. i hate this feeling. but cant control it..i mean.. it comes naturally. but i feel like i'm backstabbing her. how could i do this to my own fren? how evil of me? i must get rid of this feelings and repent. seriously..i must.
oh.. and i'm soo outdated. i'm finally getting into the fifa mood. and i watched a match! i mean the whole match. frm begining till the end!! wow. amazing. and it was quite syiok ah! ahaha.. gol!! when that word becomes reality.. wow.. amazing man..
lols.. i'll blog again if i have time. sch opening soon doubt i'll have time to surf the net..
chiao.. bye.

i wish i was a punk rocker

love this song! sandi thoms's vocals is great! notice how she can sing without music at all? but listen ti the lyrics. kinda like a social/cultural commentary. but its nice any way! ahahaha..

ok.. the photos for the bhf are up.. but there still lots lots lots more so i cant possibly upload all of them here rite..

the first pic, of the whole band, the BIG family, aft bhf, in front of the sea. the scene infront of us was totally beautifully. can c me? aiyah my face very small. on the left side, beside the coast guard yellow box. ahaha..
next, me wif percussion sect and the tubas. can c my drumstick? i doubt so.
next, the BIG BOOM BOOM band!! ahaha..
next,damai windz in action! ahahaha...
next, jen, twisting balloons.
next, jia hao pumping balloons.
next, zahidah twisting balloons.
next, me wif the percussions gerls! ahahaha
next, me wif mel, resting. notice the bruise on my leg? ahaha..
next, the sec 4 gals, alif, mr wong and ex-seniors. still in sch canteen, b4 bhf
ok, back to my current pathetic state..
the last few weeks had been a blur as i rushed through my hw, trying to finish it and making my artefact in the workshop. ok, daylight was spent sloughing off my butt at the workshop and the nites was spent by cracking my head doing hw and folio. ergh! i think i'm gonna be sick soon. 'cos many ppl had gone off overseas holidaying while i'm stuck here. :((
stuck
stuck
stuck
and i still havent finish my hw!! not to mention revision!! gosh! the first week of june hols is gone wif extended prog and band pracs everyday... haiz.. then second week i went out wif band mbms, shopping and do folio. and not forgetting band tune-in. then third and fourth week is for dnt workshop. next week having sect outing wif nad. cant wait. miss the times we were together!

i will not call this a holiday!! sombody help me get out of this mess!!! eerrgghh!! :(:(:(

the bhf pics. but still have lots of them. i'll blog tmr. shamil want to use com. my freaking bro! irritatating!!!

lazy to blog
the tune-in wif acjc was totally great.

but they play very chim pieces so i want to side read their pieces
oso very hard. feel like my eyes want to pop out
looking at the scores. my head is spining frm all
the notes conversion..
hhmm.. muz prac more on minor scales and impose notes

and improve on my freaking rythms!!!
then got this kids central guy. wen long.
at first tot he looked freaking familiar
then i juz ok, watever loh..
then it struck me eh, he's the kids central guy hor!

lol, i'm so slow. but i salute all of them.
they are great musicians.
the ppl there are very friendly.

so ok lah. went wif jen kean, shi ying and luqman.
they say, their playing was terrible!
the songs we played,
gelato con caffe,
turnadot,
mission impossible,
huntchback of Notre dame
and 1 japanese song.
lols, i need to go tuition now.
I'll blog later..
chiao.

arms disattached

AAARRGGGHH!!!!! ahahaha... still so high since yesterday.. balloon hat was so fun! playing precussion was so funny! esp asri.. he's so nuts... but i got all bruises frm my tom- toms! and my arms hurt alot! i think i not enough warm up.. eerrgh! ugly blue blacks all over my shin! :( and i made my hair into a big pile of mess... man.. corn rose!! can u imagine me having a hairstyle like that?? took 1 hr to tie it! thanks to farah! she tied it for me! then they spray pink colour hair spray and lots of glitters on my head!! ang mo kio sec came late.. super late and the whole lot of us had to wait for them! *angry!*angry!!! i made butterflies for the balloon hat for percussion but it was super hot. i was sweating to my skin man! the shirt was quite nice. thumbs up to jygle, amanda and wanshi! even though didnt win anything, we had ssoo much fun. the last perf for sec 4s.. i actually broke down! how could i? i practically need tissues to blow my nose and wipe my tears. but my sect were really sweet. aft the perf we played the songs again and 'its my life' sang by bon jovi. ahaha, i borrow the sec1 eupho and play the song. it was so nice, playing by the beach. the ex-seniors came and took alot of pics of us. aft that went to eat at long john wif my sect and tumpet sect. but wat seh.. wasted lah. la la la didnt follow his sect! if not aisyah can confess to him. but at last she confess to wanshi.. ahaha.

i just found out our band is sssooo full of love! i found out that there are more ppl keeping crushes in band..:)) love is in the air!! wohoo!! but i wont say anything lah..if not i'm sure they will be embarassed rite so dont u ppl worry, i will keep my mouth shut.

later got pic of the bhf, i will post it here.

life sucks. i've promised myself i will nvr betray my frens. so i will nvr. esp when they are so close to u. but when u like the person and she oso like that person. its a stupid love triangle. thats freaking stupid lah. more stupid when the guy actually like u and not ur fren! but i will not say anything bout that. i'll support her till the end no matter wat. eerrgh.. first its H***** then its Z**** then now.. eerrgghh.. life suck. i hate myself. it really hurts alot. but i'll heal it myself.

i will miss my eupho. but now is o levels time.
chiao.

no future

i'm so busy..even aft the exams! doing my dnt lah.. haiz.. my new idea is ssoo crapy!!! oh god, pls help me!! the electronics used is freaking basic.. I HATE MY NEW IDEA!!!! damn it man!! i've given up on the old idea b'cos of the electronics being too complicated. haiz...

now is the only time i get to update my blog.. aft ages.. ok, i'm gonna write a long one!! just now went to bugis wif nadine, pei yun and wei jie, buy electronic stuff.. i c their projects like so cool like that.. then mine is ssoo crappy.. haiz.. bleah.. dnt occupies alot of my time this june hols.. obviously no slacking for me now. receiving my midyear results was so despressing, helo, girl!! reality check here!!! haiz.. welcum to the reality..slacking this half of the year when you are taking your o levels this year!!! gosh.. i really need to buck up man..

mum and cik sham is forcing me again! i must go to jc, jc, jc!!!! that's all that they are thinking about! 'u better work hard and stop wif ur band stuff! if u cant even go to poly and ended up in ite.. u better watch out! ur sis oredi get to grad frm poly... that's good u know..bla.. bla..bla..!!!!' why must they compare me wif sis?? if its so good, why hasnt she got a uni admission?? huh, why huh? i wonder..and why do you always blame my band?? why? this is wat i like to do! play music!! i love music! why cant you be like any other parents and encourage them? u dont even go to any of my performances before and even disallowed me to go! and if u like to compare sis wif me so much, by the way, her cca was horticulture club!! it gardening!! it is so different frm band so dont u compare it!! now u are disallowing me frm performing the last performance wif damai windz! it is so important to me!! the balloon hat festival is once in a year event in singapore, u know! in singapore! our band was even featured in tv mobile ok! EEERRGGHH!! its not that i didnt study wat! i did study to my best effort!! dont they know wat i'm feeling know? why cant they just understand me?? is it ssoo hard?

i do know they have a reason why they want me to go jc. not their fault. i just wish my family has more money so that i can go to my choice course. poor ppl like me will always stuck in this poverty cycle. i wish dad will get a job and realise that he's making my life miserable! sumtimes.. i tot of just quiting skool and just work. :( (and move out of the house!)

when i go to band, i get to forget all my probs...just play music. so syiok! sum more now step down oredi.. but i think my sec ones dont like me. i think its b'cos i scold them alot. hhmmpphh! they do mistakes i correct them! this is called training!! next year oredi syf! must get gold! haiz.. i guess, they dont understand it now. when they have bcome a senior then they will know wat i feel.

that's it lah.. later if write sum more ppl will get bored of me. chiao.

not in the best of moods

not in the best of moods today. went to johor and i really dont know wat to say about these malaysians. i mean when they see me, they'll be like oh...u'r singaporean right? like i have a poster pasted on my back saying that i'm singaporean. its not that i'm not proud to be a singaporean, but they will have this look on me and start babbling in english like i dont understand a single word of malay!! eerrgghh.. they think the malays in singapore are so stupid in malay language! and the guys are so tappered!! eerrgghh!!! the girls like dont know how to wear their scrafs and the toilets are the worst. do not speak of that disgusting, feaces infested place!! eerrgghh!!

the exams are coming and i'm not studying... i wonder how i will survive this exam.. i want to study oso cant, getting sick during this period!!! aaarrggh!!! this nose wont stop sneezing and my throat feels like burning! darn.. i keep eating and eating especially chocolates. and i dont understand why some ppl are so full of themselves and keep critizing ppl! like they are so good like that! oi! go and buy a big mirror and look urself in the mirror lah before u say other ppl! and its my freaking business lah i want to write wat in my blog or anywhere i want! does it concern u? no right? then shut the freaking up lah!! stupid!! this is my blog wat, my business lah i want to post wat wheather it boring, lame, or irritating, IT IS MY FREAKING BUSINESS!!!

just shut up. i miss band terribly. just, just shut up. i need to study social studies now.

yo!!! i've changed the skin at last!!! yay!! and i've tagged bathi and kelvin.. waliao.. u ppl very the lame one hor, wat u wrote in ur blogs.. nevertheless.. entertained me hehehe..ok.. i tink better start mugging.. got higher malay exams on mon !!!!! aarrgghhh!!!! help me.. i' barely hanging on...oh... ahahaaha...
guys... flood my taggie board.. entertain me pls..
ta.. chocolates.. i need it.. chiao..

gosh..

i'm totally in a confusion...total confusion. so many emotions going through me right now. saddness, happy, angry, gulit.. haiz.. dunno lah.. but mostly sadness..

it happened on tues... the last band prac for the sec fours... Uwah!!! i wanna cry!!! it was the saddest band prac. we could not start our prac as usual cos of the oral in the hall. so we do breathing execises and listen to band songs trying to decide wat song to play for syf. then we do drills. hahaha.. sec fours no need to march. we train them. but seriously, their marching neeed ALOT of improvements. then when going back to music room, all the sec fours from behind the science block we march all the way to the area near parade square... ahahaha... then we all play all the old songs in the band store while the rest prac in the music room. but alot of the sec fours didnt attend this prac. waliao.. wat seh.. should spend the last days together lah.. then when assmbling time.. my sect juniors cried.. many ppl cried... :) i was ssoo touched.. but i only cried little bit only... but i tell myself dont cry..must not cry.. then we played a little trick on the juniors... hahaha.. made them do 70 push ups together... ahhaha.. then band dismissed and we took photos.. oh.. it was ssoo sad... aft all these yrs together.. now we will be seperated... uwah!!! i will miss u guys!!! but still got balloon hat festival to perform.. the last performance in june. must take lots of pics!
then aft that went to tuition without going home.. wah.. i ssoo tired... i didnt even studied for bio prac exam for the next day... haiz..
then aisyah called me and tell me those two things ah bout trumpet sect.. i was ssooo freaking shocked... super shocked!! i didnt know wat to say. but i know aisyah felt really sad. i understand how she feels. but u have to carry on wif your life right?
i realise that i'm losing many things. i'll lose my hse; my parents wanna sell it. but i dun want and they should know why. i will not see some of my frens aft o's cos they migrating.. so sad.. then i'll be leaving the band.. gosh.. i must be strong..
##*%&$($)*(@ ^& then school is so depressing.. o's coming. so much to do so little time. exams coming... haiz.. i must be strong!!

dots

oh my.. so much been happening.. so, so much. dunno where to start man..
ok.. studies first...my dnt at last i have got an idea. but its very hard to make the artefact b'cos of the technology. so, i'm still struggling wif it man.. damn.. my hml exams is coming and cikgu says it will be very hard. oh gosh.. i need to start studying for midyr man.. tests coming in almost everyday. so sick of it, but wat can i do.. must work harder for o levels sake.

this week the whole week had been only band.. band.. band.. mon, tues, thurs and fri all band prac.. haiz, preparing for speech day, then have to wear ethnic costume..haha, i wear ghangara. indian dress, my traditional clothes.. ahaha. first time seh.. then alif say i'm kajol sesat..?? the speech day was funnny b'cos it falls on 1 april and the leaders played a prank on us. a lame one that is.. ahahaha.. the committee for next year had been finalised.. i'll be waiting for the promotion day.. i tink the day will be a happy day.. hehehe. cant wait to step down aft all these yrs in band.. at last i'll be an ex-senior. i just hope i wont cry.. i'll be so sad to leave them. so many memories together, sad and happy ones..haiz..

hahaha.. ok, i tink rite, there will be another couple in our band.. ahahaha... so funny. wont say anything..ahahaha...but it was super shock and glee for me.. i was laughing all the way man.. (at them)

oh gosh..everynight i'm sleeping late..dark eye circles are forming under my eyes. AARRGGHH!!! ahahaha.. ok lah.. got to do my dnt..
ta.

a'huh

ok.. at last i managed to finish up my hol hw. lucky me. got back my results for term 1 and i was quite disappointed ah.. man.. my marks are ssoo average.. and my higher malay marks is ssoo frightening.. gosh.. i must buck up!!! on mon went to st pat's concert at esplanade and it was ssoo cool man!!! we sat right in front of the stage and i c alot of (CUTE) guys!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!! my gerlfrens we're all screaming their heads off!!!! and the primary school band were ssooo cute too!!! as in chubby!!! aaarrrgghh!!! i feel like pinching their cheeks!!!! the st pat's band played ssooo well.. i feel ssooo ashamed of our schooll band. and sometimes.. being a senior in the band is ssooo sucky.. and favourtism still thrives.. stupid isnt is?? stupid. :( :(
haiz.. dat's all i guess.. i still need to study hist. test on mon. aaarrrgghhh!!!!! bye! :)

tet..

this is sssooo stupid! this blog website is in chinese!!!! ???? fortunately i can go in. clicking by memory... stupid. AARRRGGHHH!!!! seriously i'm in a big bad mood. aaarrgghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! i dunno where to start... haiz...

its been ages since i've blogged. my saturdays are now spent mugging. no rests at all. mug. mug mug. practically i have no rest. its making me crazy. crazy.crazy. edhaiz...nvm... i'll look at it on the bright side.. i wont give up, for o levels sake. o levels. o levels.

i found out that many ppl want to go to acj. i tot i'm the few ppl who wanted to go there but in fact..., many ppl are competing to go there. the competition is stiff. i dont know if i even can qualify for jc anot. if i dont go.. cik sham will b ssoo disappointed wif me...darn..watever..

the last week of sch for this term was ssoo sucky.. i didnt complete my hw at all. all anyhow done. every lessons is such a bore for me.. my eyes keep dropping. i feel soo tired. i just wanna sleep... sleep... haiz... my tests marks was ssoo average..while i saw my classmates tests results was ssoo much more better than mine. most of them got like 20 something/25 !!! this suck. totally. hu ha!! "i'm ssoo over the clouds!!!" great totally!! then the teachers gave us ssoo much hw...i'm crying over this... pls some one help mee!!!!! how am i supposed to finish it? how? how? how? dont they c that we have abt 7 subjts to revise and we have to complete the hw in 7 days in which these includes our time for remedial classes, cca, tuition, time for ourselves, family and frens??? dont they ever tot of this?? (and this stupid radio i'm listening to is making my ears bleed by playing techno songs!!! eehhww...) i know i'm not the only one experiencing this, other student are also having this.. haiz..student life....

oh yes.. did i mention abt frens just now?? ohk.. watevr...these days.. in sch i feel ssoo alone... alone, all by myself...those whom i tot were my frens are actually.. haiz..they treat me like... haiz..i feel ssoo slenger ah...terhegeh-hegeh kat org yg tak nak diri nie.. pathetic me... that time i was going wif them..(i wont say who) they actually left first and didnt tell me..!! they just went off!! for eg, u and ur grp of frens going to eat together but then u go toilet then suddenly u come back u found out that they had left u when u all had promised to go out together!! how'd u feel?? then they just say oh sorry eh.. i forgot all abt u..how could u forget bout me.. am i that unimportant???? i feel so unappreciated man!! then aft that, one of them said, eh shaheera, u are not invited ah...u go away can?? i was like cursing i my heart. and crying. i cant tahan them, i tot they are my frens but oh...i'm again wrong.. they are not...there are other incidents which is too long for me to type. haiz... the frens that i have cherished since lower sec life is crumpling.. hiq, aishah, khai, azilah...all, gone.. hiq is going away wif nat and jannah. aishah j. always wif kamilah.azilah and khai used to hate each other so much but they are now like best frens. and me?? stuck in the middle. middle of where? i donno, middle of nowhere, i guess. how i really wish we could be together again like last time. i can still remember our trip to wild wild wet..it was wild!! haha..but i guess that would only be dream.. at least i still have my band frens. aishah s. , mu en, my juniors, all of the band members, my band. my refuge. and not forgetting my longest bestest best fren, farah. always there for me..haiz...

i have nowhere to vent my anger on. at least here, none of my family members knows bout my blog so they dont report anything to my mum. if mum knows bout any of the things i write i my blog, she sure go crazy. on wed i'm going field trip to bintan and they are ssoo worried. do u have toothpaste? insect repellent? at night u dont go out alone ohk.. bla bla bla.... i'm just going for 3 days and 2 nites. this is ssoo sufocating..eerrgghh!! liking english songs also is a crime..stupid. she says i dont know old evergreen songs, so nice yet i dont know. but like stupid, vulgar songs like eminem songs... hey come on lah.. the olds songs are ssoo dragy and the lyrics unrelevent on today's issues. look at eminem's songs... ssoo much diff... it potrays wat we are feeling.. she simply do not understand me. these few days i keep fighting wif her. she still treat me like her little gerl...i'm 16 for heaven's sake!!!

i dunno when she will realise that this little gerl of hers had grown up...! this is really stupid. i guess i need to eat lots of chocolates to make me happy.. hu ha! haiz..ta.

:)

hoho, i'm feeling... urm... light headed...? in a daze? ok watever... so long nvr blogged. oh well i have no time to go nenek hse to use the com. luckily got miss farah ashlina bte aku tak tau name bapak die..... who let me cum her hse and use the com. if not my work will not b finished... haiz.. and she's looking at me now.. :-)
stupid teachers is giiving us more and more of their stupid hw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plus dnt folio, andy's tuition, to revise other subjects, band and religious classes. tis is making me mad. going mad. i can feel the competition frm my classmates. most of them are ssooo clever... they want to go jc obviously. so i must step up to it. and mum says i'm ssoo happy go lucky! stupid rite?? i'm just trying to relaks ah!! i'm not like kak that like to stress herself up. comparing me again. it nvr ends!!!
oh yes, i have announcement to make.!!!! i'm out of tuft club!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heeppii i can eat and eat!!!!!!!!!!! ahahaha....the balloon hat festival damai is participating!! yay, ssoo excited!!! then, my mt o level results came out and me and baizura got an A1!!!!!!! ahahaha!!!!! i was going crazy that day ah. ok that's all..

just trying to make myself hppi!! yay!!! hu ha!! ta!