a battle within

sometimes i feel like just crying it all out and let it all go.
sometimes i feel that i should hold back the tears, be brave and fight.

seems like i'm the only one fighting this battle.

ah, i dont know.

but i've vowed to never shed a tear again.

so sick and tired. emotionally, physically.

seems like if i dont do well enough for this exam, i may not be able to continue with studies eh. and the only thing i want now is a place called home. thats all.

chiao.

mug time! wwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

officially on hiatus.
do not disturb.

MUG OR YOU DIE!

uuhhh i wanna play with jay. sighs.
damn! after exams man!! you just wait!
haha.
alright, time to mugggg~~~~
chiao.

<3 them.
and khun's definitely more then just an eye candy.

chiao.

the flower

to become beautiful, you must endure pain.
to become perfect, you must hold in sadness.
where is the flower which blooms without getting soaked by the pouring rain?

i hate it when someone's words made an impact on me, esp when that person is someone who doesnt know how significant he is. oh well. ok, lets move on in life.

major projects are finally over. only left with the role play project which i have to act. oh my. and exams, which i am supposed to study. haha. whatever. absolutely no mood.

love, sincerity. give me a chance to learn about it.

really.

really, how could you think of me like that? say things of me like that.

ouch. i feel a great stabbing pain there.

congrats, for making me feel like the worst person ever to walked on earth.
no kidding. you really made me feel that way today.

chiao.

paboimnida

seriously... why cant i just do something well? like be good in something?

pabo.

chiao.

eyeballs

so.. can eyeballs really roll out? i have the feeling that its going to happen to me soon.
welcome, dark circles and panda eyes. yay.

i'm getting really worked up with all these tests and project deadlines approaching.

3 days to raya and i still havent got my baju kurung this year.

anyway, eid mubarak peopleeeeeeeeeeee!
wwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
chiao. :))))

PARK JAEBOM

oh man, jay... 2pm wouldnt be hottest anymore without jay! right. i am so effing sad now. cant believe i am affected until like this. i bet the rest of the boys are under so much stress now. sigh. rumours say that junho's the next leader. sigh. and the boys were seen crying at the airport when jay left. and wooyoung fainted, in hospital now.





damn who can sing, rap and break like jay!? TELL MEEEE! ah. watching wild bunny, hot blood, idol army again. ahw, i want jaebom leadja back!

i'm missing hiq already. i hate airports. really i do.

chiao.

kekeke. <3
2pm! wwwwwwweeeeeeeeee

giant dreams, midget abilities.

sigh

right, time to study.

chiao.

fight, fight, FIGHT!

and i will succeed.

hear that, i will.

chiao.

when you think it's the end, or there's no way out, or i'm going to die, it'll never going to happen~you can overcome no matter how hard life is.

school

its been ages since i've updated. 4 weeks of school. i cant say its was bad. but i expected it to be better. nonetheless, i'm glad my project grp members were truly cooperative and responsible despite being such playful guys. :)) found a suju+2pm addict like me. haha. we're good friends now. hehe. oh, found a leeteuk and siwon twin in my course. *faints* but i need to focus. my concentration span is only 5 secs i think. gosh, i gotta buck up, focus and study.

its a week into ramadhan. missing many people. and, and...sigh, hiq is going away.. :(




nickhun!! :)) *melts....

guess that abt it.

chiao.

seriously. i can burst out in anger.
so tired. so angry.

complaining again. i should shut up. and study.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. geram.

chiao.

projects.

rabak ah i thought my proj is easy peasy. yeah right. easy peasy to comprehend ONLY. but when i ponder and analyse the questions, shit. oh nooooooooooooo. ah my brain's quite fried from accounts and economic analysis eh. tmr accounts again. cash balance, brought forward, marking up. oh new homework and new project! omg. how many projects seh.

thinking back again, some of the stuff that i did when i was working in income was actually very relevant to what i am studying now! hehehe.

and omg, my coursemates are like how frighteningly competitive. damn.

but BRING IT ON BEYBEH!

hahaha.

chiao.

paranoia

maybe i'm just being paranoid. i'm panicking. i really need to study. i cant imagine myself failing. oh my, impossible.

ahhh.

chiao.

SCHOOL

1st day of school and i was late! hehehe. but things turned out well after that.
NOW! geram ah. i cant log in to acess my schedule, print course notes, assingments, etc. ahhh how! no notes for tmr's lesson!

but happy. :D nonetheless.

chiao!

<3 suju!

suju made my day yet again! and made me cry too! reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy love then.

ohkay, school's tmr!! wwwwwwwwwwwweeee. egg-citing!

me-> ELF! wohooo!

chiao!

merepeks.

this is so merepek. its like politics between menopausal half-a-century aunties who has no life. wtf. AND I AM CAUGHT IN BETWEEN IT. f-la.


aahh.

i is missing someone.



ohoh. i love this song!

chiao.

sigh

teaching isnt an easy thing eh. it doesnt just involve the student and teacher, but also the student's parents. what makes it worst is that the student doesnt co-operate but wants results. the mother, being on the student's side will protect her. the teacher on the other hand wants to teach her so badly but cant get anything to work out. that just suck.

i hate being forced to do things that i do not want. i hhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee it.
omg. i feel so angry. and you always know how to look so sympathetic that i will eventually give in. and if i dont, you'll say all those hurtful things that i never seem to be able to forget. its painful. and when i do something good, its never acknowledged or appreciated. thats so nice of you. you always want your way but i never got to do anything my way.

somehow, it frustrates me that i cant do anything to change the situation. its frustrates me even more that no one is listening to me. it frustrates me even more that no one else here wants to do anything abt it and keep asking me to do something. i'm not a superwoman ah.

guess all this while i was only in denial. trying to convince my self that i'm alright.

chiao.

run

i dont know whats wrong with blogger or mine IE. the layout is all screwed up!

hhmmm. sigh.

i wanna run away from here.bye.

chiao.

:)))

this is oh so cute.


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. suju just got themselves a new fan!!!

alright, i'm stopping work like soon. kinda sad but i cant wait for school. :D although i dont know excatly whos in sim. BUT I AM SO GONNA ENJOY MY UNI DAYS. muahahahahaha. and study hard!

orientation next week! wwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. ohoh! mandaki approved my loan. heh.

chiao.