oh bother

it bothers me much that i cant study properly. grrr.

it bothers me too that some reaaaaalllyyyy unnecessary issues are occupying my mind (with some exceptions like khun and dubu issues of course) ^.^

and i cant sleep properly these days.

chiao.

dark circles

my dark circles are just...... getting darker.

dubu overdose.

and my brain is a mess of shinee goo.

LUCIFER~!

no, i havent forgot them. BUT THE TIME NOW IS LUCIFERRRR~
oh yeah baybeh.

so.. thats it, blogspot will be my soul. tumblr will be my sin. light of my life, fire of my loins. [if you know what i mean, but if you dont, all the better.]

last week's lectures were scarily intense. financial math yo. have you ever heard me and math going together? uh no, we have this intense love-hate complicated relationship which me myself is baffled till this day. fell sick on friday but still gotta do housework. sat, more housework (gonna die of doing housework. whoever hears of a person dying from doing too much cleaning? thats me) sunday, managed to escape but got scolded so badly. whoever gets scolded for studying? ah~ me! me! yay! *rolls eyes*

monday, my voice is still funny, nose is still a leaking tap, head is still playing tabla. woke up late when i was supposed to come to school early and print accounts notes. but yeah, the stupid cold medicine just had to have its way, i slept for like 10 hours straight! sigh. and, accounts lecture is... proforma balance sheet .. bla bla bla.. 95% of utilisation of assets... EFN... me: HUH? *OMG I AM SO DEAD*

even though its the third week of school but i seem to havent catch up with my friends or EVEN START on any assignments. everyday is just mere running around the lecture rooms. sigh.
but shinee's lucifer saves the day! wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.

right, the coast seems clear now. i can start studying. like finally. time:10:43pm. i wonder when i will get my sleep today. "awesomeness!"

sabar je la....

chiao.

i cant wait for 19th! minho, get well nowww^^

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

i just had to man.. i just have to...

yesterday i felt mnduytgadckjqwitdyghadnsal!!!

today NBVHFRTYGUJHGFCXFSRTDYFGUHJK!!!

yeah.

wanna spam again with moreee~~~~ 

ok, i'll stop here.

its good to be a shawol.

HUK! TMR BTT! ORH MAI GAWD!

chiao.

weird

somebody conk me in the head before i go any weirder.

credits to kmSJjewel@2OD

defaction

today's homeward journey was strangely familiar. like 2 years ago. when i was defacted. that rejection. that poker face. that same feeling.

never mind, smile. av credits to simone@SFI

lets see, so whats the sweetest 10 things a guy can ever do for a girl? hahaha.
[taec, answer this!!! i bet you can list it off your fingertips after watching the mv soooooo many times]

this sem is sureeee gonna be damn interesting. :)

chiao.

tired

credits to simone@SFI

well, i beg of you to give me the patience and strength to carry on.

'cos i'll really need it like ALOT.

from taking care of her; well nobody knows or wants to give her medcine, her food, doc appointments etc[i pray i wont be like them when i grow up], cleaning[that includes vacuuming, mopping, washing the toilet and all things that are categorised as cleaning], sometimes cooking, the odd job worker carrying things from 15kg rice sacks to serving them food, settling school fees from the bank to mendaki to school and bank again; like wth lah, to the family counsellor[emotionally draining after each session] and last but not least, to being a half-bread-winner.

i dont know if i can last long.

i'm tired.

chiao.

hahahaha. funnyfunnyfunny.


tomorrow school starts. O.O
so its time to FOCUSFOCUSFOCUS

hhmmm. alot on my mind. alot to sort out.
for now, i'll just pray alot.

chiao.

love

i'll call this love at first sight!


taec, can i share siwon with you puh-leaseee? i noticed he look exactly like my prev grp member 'that-one' in this vid! esp with the white shirt! and kyu's angelic voice. omo, donghae+ teukie was all smiles. awesomeness.

its raining

it always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun the most.



so i'll be a good girl and smile. like khun said, 'smile even when it rains! =]'

lol. barrage was awesome-ness man. but serves me right for not eating properly and mr gastric said hello to miss stomach.
met up irnanana today. awesome-ness but i was tired out real quick. haha.

school next week. need to sort my pilesssssssssssss of notes, start revise accounts T_T, revise my btt heh(oh horvie just his driving too wwwwweeeeeeeeee), settle mendaki issues and loads more which is too long a list to say it here.

i'm tired easily these days, physically and emotionally.

chiao.

for taec :) hahaha.



for meee! kekekeke.

berserah

emptyness.
well, sometimes anger though.

insyallah, when i have the rezeki, i will give back.

bills, invoices, fees=headaches.

sometimes, just leave it all to Him. 'cos i really dont what else to do.
cant eat, sleep or do anything else.

i'll give myself to You.

chiao.

PMS

i cant help but grin whenever i think of our silly antenna and thumb games. oh and how silly we look when we do that chomp chilly chomp chomp games.

dang. i hate PMS. really. one moment your mood can be sky high and you just wanna jump and laugh at everything. but the next, you feel like the worst being on earth, so lonely, so inferior, so angry too at yourself, at everyone. you just want someone to listen to everything, pour everything out, for someone to just pat your back and say everything is okay. [but that never happened sadly] and you're left all alone to deal with it. [but eventually you stood up again after the fall because you just have to; have to continue living] and physically, your appetite flucuates. you go on silly binges in the middle of the night and the next day you starve yourself. your face became oily and pimples appear [ggrrrr, dang you pimples] and then comes the cramps. the numbs on the legs. cold feet, sometimes shivers too.

but i'd rather take it all in. rather than eating painkillers.

hhmmm. epiphany on several issues. i keep it to myself for now

chiao.

ragh

exams results was astonishingly good. like unexpectedly good. but when i got to know of others' results, i dont feel THAT great anymore. but luckily those middle-aged-PMS-half-phsychotic ehems thinks otherwise. so i am perfectly safe for now of their naggings or whatsoever.

HOWEVER! i cant escape from their tauntings of getting married and having an evil in-law who tortures their daughter-in-law to do housework. Hence, i was forced into the kitchen till my hands were yellow from mixing herbs, chorse from the detergent and cuts from cutting onions, garlic and chillis.

ITS NOT LIKE I AM GOING TO FREAKING GET MARRIED NEXT WEEK RIGHTTTT~! ERGGGHHHHH.

sigh. i wanna go back to schoooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllll. *sobs*

someone, save me. take me away.

:]

anxiety isnt good for health.

but somehow it cant be helped,

what, why?

WHAT IF..?

i wonder.

chiao.

-_____-

nerves nerves nerves are killing me. well, its tomorrow. mummy has perfect confidence in me. but i dont. i know its no use worrying about it. like its all finalised so everything is confirmed whether i'll make it or not. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i really wanna scream out now. i know i've done my best though.
my resolution: i am so gonna study many times harder next sem thats for sure. work many times harder. get more $$ to support myself and to go overseas for internship next year. (the troubles of a full-time student who has to support herself. sigh what to do..)

still healing this bruised heart. (ehw so jiwang, yuck) anyway, i'll just enjoy the entertainment thats provided. i should stop listening to ballads and watch FO maybe to cheer me up.

bored but i realised that i have alot of stuff to do at home. hahaha.

anyone who's free enough to go shop with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? harloooooooooooooo anyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? i hear empty echos. i guess not. bleah whatever. -___-

i'd rather be busy than be this bored and start thinking about nonsense.

chiao.

E.L.F

dorks <3

i removed the taggie. damn stop spamming with adverts!

and i want to go for suju showcase PLEASE.

sigh. i guess that will never happen.lah.

bake again today. erhm oreo butter cake. screwed. but mummy loves it. i dont know. everyone else said its ok. i think its lacking some 20%. not nice. T__T

and thanks xinmin, zhong and sinta for dinner today :) guess they're my only ac classmates that i can really get along with.



awesomeness overload. i think the cameraman today is good. they captured taec's fav perv part. hahahaha. ;)


they won again!! yahuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. seeseesee donghae's face during the speech? wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
teukie throwing the flowers without the wrapper to fangirls(HAHAHAHAHA)+shindong's flash abs. hahahaha+ sulli trying heechul's shades and imitating his part. lol. plusplus the ad after the show- haha khun's minute maid CF. haha where is the pulp?

i think i am going crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
kakak's reaction?- 'YA ALLAH SHAHEERA...'
shamil's reaction?- 'EEEE, kakak da gile eh?'
perhaps?

i'm not sleepy.
chiao.

marble cakee

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

success!

maybe i should bake every weekend.

but who'll eat it?

chiao.

ragh

in a state of self-destructive rage.

ragh.

miinah+NU A.B.O

i wonder why i cant get close to you. always wondered. honestly, i felt jealous when other people are close to thiers. i realise that you've never and its really NEVER, supported nor tried to accept me as i am.

while i am one stubborn girl who never accepts your critisms.

what a great combination.



this song is ssooo addictive. awesome.



cant wait for the full MV coming out today~!

SIGH.

after 20 years of blessed life, i only have 1 wish. to have a place called home. thats all.
why do i feel like i am being dragged around today. =.='
chiao.

10may1990

oh yeah, happy birthday to me.

and happy mummy's day to all mummy-s

credits to promiile@SFI

this guy here! he updated his IPLE and and and*spazzing* posted a pic of Onjuboong!!! and wrote some msg to SFI. happy? beyond it. ehehehehehehhehehe.

credits to madiison@2OD


credits to madiison@2OD
this guy here!! he updated his me2day. happy-ness^^
guess what he posted. nyheahahahaha. onkey eating rice cakes! too bad cant post the pic here as well. if not.. *overload.

credits to madiison@2OD

credits to madiison@2OD

lina will prolly go kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~ at minho's avatar above. lol. right right right?

i've loads more but i cant post it 'cos it not mine. gotta give credits and stuff.

what was i supposed to say...... erhmmmmmmmmm.

ouh~ thanks for the surprise at mad jack's :)

cupcakes or chocmint+peanutbutter brownies? or cookiedough brownie+choc ganache?

which one should i make....

chiao.