Advertorial!!!!!!!!! :)

AC band presents to you,

Muse, a night to remember.

Venue: Singapore Conference Hall

Time: 5pm

Date: 6 July 2008

Tickets: $10 for stall, $ 15 for circle seats.

Repertoire: Rhapsody for the Theme of Paganini, Armenian Dances part 1, Charming Asia and many moreeeee.

cheap leh..and its gonna be good, i promose. :)

so do come , :)

In our effort to fund raise for our overseas tour,

we present to you,

A Legacy Of Musical Excellence

a compilation cd of the best songs that ac band has ever played

under dr lee of course.

each cost $20.

buy its nice la, i've listened to it.

like the festive overture.. wah, its like the most difficult piece i've ever played.

but the best too. running notes and all the high notes.

some of the songs are,

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Fantasy Variations,

October (eupho solo there!!! ahhhhhh!!!), Turnadot(stinking nice uhhh),

Movement for Rosa(so touching.......)

Star Wars Trilogy (crazy triple tonguing, hesh),

The phantom of the opera (oh lala, eupho soli part niceeeee),

Festive Overture :), and Overture 1812 (superb!!)

and of course many moreee.

so, do help us to relieve our dreams to make more and better music.

do support us by attending our concert and buying our cd. :)

hehe.

Ac Perbayu Presents to you,

Awang Batil, the story teller of ancient tales.

a theatre production by the ac malay cultural society.

this drama is about 3 ancient malay tales told by awang batil.

Time : 8pm

Venue: ACJC rooftop garden, Dover Close East, S'pore 139745

Day: Mon 26th may and Tues 27th may.

Tickets: $7

Do support us, as we've put alotttt of effort in this. :)

contact me for tickets. :))))).

breathe

its at these times when i really feel like breaking down and just stop.

mcs is literally breaking up. so much things happening and things that are needed to be done. i'm at a cross road. my next surgery date is set. and i have to make a decision. i'm confused. my studies are in the drain. and everyday i sleep at 2-3 am. stinking tired. ac band tune in is like what, next week and i dont even know. great.

i need to breathe.

but, at the same time, i am happy that i can smile now. AKU DA TAK RONGGAK! wwwwwwwweeeeeee.


chiao.

survival of the fittest

i dont know how to survive the rest of the week. tomorrow i have to run 2.4 km. :( then theres mcs and then study for gp test and geog test. that doesnt include homework. thank god i need not play in band. if not, i dont know if i'll be able to keep breathing.

mcs is getting stressful. and i dont even have time to eat at all in school today untill i reach home at abt 8.30pm. thats because my breaks are filled with consults or just emergency mugging in library. (haha, like meeting deadlines for homework etc)

oh 2 weeks more before school holidays. yeah i need that.

josh was pestering me with this question: how do band people cope man? haha, bandits, answer that, how the hell do we survive?

i dont know, by god's grace, we just do. right? haha.
press on!

oh,oh. i am so happy. i passed my math test. say wow. haha. and i got 30/50 for my gp essay. wwweeeeeeeeee. i'm on cloud nine. lalalalalalalala. but somehow i'm not satisfied. consistency. yeah. consistency.

chiao.

legally 18.

1oth may felt like any other day in my life. aft living and experiencing it for the 18th time, i felt quite numbed yesterday. well, i dont know how to feel or react actually. but thanks all. :) my section, for the 'birthday cake' haha, and perlini's silver necklace, em, enjia, soo and irna for the body shop gift, kak siti's gift which i still havent figure out what it is, kak wani for the dress and the cake! and all the other messages. thank youuuuu. oh yeah, happy birthday to justin too. haha.



reminiscing what happened last year made me realise that i had changed, somewhat. it was the day right before syf. syf came and i guess, the events that happened during and after it, i will remember for a very very long time. how they played roman feste, the announcement. the journey in the mrt. the surprisebirthday bash by my dear girls. i'll never forget that, khai, hiq, az and ais.

with so many things on my mind, i noticed that i'll always get quietand give that serious look when actually i was thinking about stuff. and people will thought i was emo-ing or soemthing like that.

i'd rather be alone.

i wanna quit. maybe i should, since i dont have any purpose anymore.

learn to get over it. that night, she cried herself to sleep.

chiao.

painful yet beautiful.

now i know why i didnt long to go, why i didnt miss doing what i used to and love to do. i was unconciously trying to run away from reality. i just realised that hearing them is so painful, although it is beautiful. ouch. but oh well, life goes on. no matter what.

ECONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. and gp compre and malay lit.
*SMACKS FACE. its gonna be a longggg night.

press on, life is tough eh?

chiao.

stinky

stinky day. i screwed up math test. and i have dc for waking up late. again. what the hell is wrong with me.

after so long not coming for practices, somehow, i feel.. what do you call it... segregated from the rest?
ergh, big bad mood AND tiredddddddddddddddd.
i'm trying to illusion myself with the fact that i have 2 bands. ac concert band + acperbayu gamelan band.haha.

stinky friday timetable on a tuesday. 4 stinking hrs of break before 4.30pm, where i'm supposed to study econs.

i better not screw up this stinky econs test.

i better eat some ice cream now. and start smiling. maybe i'll feel better. soon, i hope.
chiao.

maybe

today's mcs drama rehersal was kinda egg-citing. 'cos i tried playing the saron!!! wooooo. and we managed to complete two parts of music from the whole production. there's still alot mind you. coolness seriously. i felt like i was in a gamelan troupe or something. hehehehe. but aft that was the serious bit. debrief=omg. schedule is super tight. being a costume manager is a headache. i get confuse which costume is whose although i wrote it down. my brain is naturally slow. alot of stuff to buy. not forgetting the props. haha. i have to get everthing ready by 10th may. then there is the music part where i need to learn my instrument, and come up with some nice malay theme music. oh greattt.


i wish there is no such thing as the internet. then maybe i wouldnt be wasting my time blogging here and go and study.then maybe also i will study more. maybes. yeah. then maybe somebody will not call me stupid. then maybe i wouldnt get stinking results. then maybe i will..

ergh. me stupid?

i dont know why, every econs test i will get really really nervous. and its on thurs.
and i vow i will pass my next math test on tues. i stinking finished the tys.
if i dont pass still, then maybe....
whatever la.

chiao.

shopping.

and this dress makes me go gaga.

i am smitten by this shoe. ragh. but abit ex. :(

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. i wanna buy buy buy buy. $45 +$37= i'll be dead broke.

thank goodness my throat is wayyy better. only nose is still like a leaking tap.

ah, i better make sure i dont procastinate anymore. since thurs is wasted away because the medicine that i ate made me sleep for hours and hours and hours. time to study. not shopping. raghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

chiao.

cold rock rocks.

wed with sports day was ok i guess. but i was darn bored during the races. and fary kept whining. haha. went to buy cremo, but i didnt la, fary did. and nathan hartono served her. ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

ah choooooooooo. ouchhh. my throat feels like razor blade cutting. coughing. my eyes are dry. my nose is running. ergh. temperature is running too. :(


but dinner with em, enjia and eugene was good! yay. although with such shitty throat. cold rock. ahhh. :))) i had to succumb to temptation. hahaha. i just couldnt resist the white cookie and double choc with cookie dough and tim tam mix in!! wohh. i think it was a good combi. hahaha.

i was feeling relatively happy so i decided to take panadol and sleep at 10pm. which is superrrr early. now, back to mugging.

mug mug mug. econsmatheconsmatheconsmatheconsmatheconsmath.
i'm glad its 1st may. weeeeeeeee.

Ungu-kekasih gelapku. this song has a deeeeepp meaning. simply goood.

its about this guy who loves this girl alot but she doesnt know it. b'cos he knows that they will never be together. but he still loves her alot. and at last she knew it. but it was too late. ahhhwww.

chiao.

work it!

its 1. 41 am. oh my, panda eyes. migraine. booo. i need my sleep. ragh past failures keep haunting me. i still have econs to do. yay.

and i know i cant let it get in the way. i still have to go on. faster this time.

is this it? ohw......

come on work your brain juices!!! wweeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
ohoh, i watched scheherezede on arts central just now. superb. i like that song, just dont know why some people dont like it.

chiao.

aaahhhhhhhhhhhh

alright. i am worked up. by the upcoming tests and all the stuff that i have to catch up 'cos lessons are going at lightning speed. just to keep up is making me breathless. what more to revise for testSSSSS and start studying J1 work.

math binomial and normal distribution revision.
phy geog hydro-rivers revison. lect 1-5
human geog urban topics. lect1-10
malay lit bahasa essay, restu chap 10-15, drama- 3 of these.
macro econs revision for test, essay draft.
gp essay and compre hw. oh, not forgetting read gp package.

DIE. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
ok, i wanna cry now.
and i will not stay at home to study anymore.
noise, com, bed, food, tv. toooooooo much distraction and my nature of short attention span, easily distracted, i need self-discipline and determination. plus, lots of energy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ragh, great, lots of energy yeah when my body is quite screwed up. i can feel the effects of the strong medication i had to be on the past 1 and half week. and the fact that i cant excercise 'cos i lost alot of blood and my left cheek still feels bloated. i need to detox.

ok,ok, now back to gp.

chiao.

chiao.

the worst case of oversleeping

today was the worst case of oversleeping for me. i'm suppose to have my malay lit lesson at 7.30am. and guess what time i woke up? 8.30am! i screamed when i woke up. haiz. i think cikgu is mad at me. :(((((

that thought me something. sleep is important! and today, i felt so tired, i collapsed on the bed. till 8 plus just now. thanks to pride and prejudice yestd. i reached home at 1.30am.

and happy birthday siwei!!!! :)

ok, who's birthday next!? hehe. hint hint.

mcs is gearing up for drama!!! wweeee. it'll be so fun! but alot of work. :(

people tell me to fight for my rights. but who'll support me? i'm afraid. especially when its with that certain people you know... ragh, i dont know.

i should do my work now.
chiao.

pek potttttttttt

pek pot pek pot pek pot pek pottttttttttt. and it goes on. excuse me, do i need to remind you that i'm 18 years old this year?????? freak. gggrrrrr.


gimme my freedom. FREEDOM. i am going to move out of here asap. when i have the financial ability to support myself. thats means getting a good job with a good salary. which in conclusion means i need to study now.

at such an unearthly hour now, just when i have the motivation to study, mum is forcing me to sleep.

just leave me aloneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. can?

pride and prejudice was really really good. but i lost my ac sweater in the cab. :(((((((((

i'm so angry now, i need ben and jerry's strawberry cheesecake.

its just a dream.

i fought with mum today so that she'll let me go to school. hahaha. kinda funny, imagine your mum forcing you to stay at home. she said that my face still look pale. where got...


hhmm... i miss acband. that i dreamt of me myself playing with sheree and edwin there and dr lee was there too and he said that i wounldnt make it. for what and about what i dont know b'cos it ends there. but he also said that sheree and edwin will make it.

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


nah.. its just a dream eh. just a dream..


geog essay and a lit essay just fried my brain.


who wants fried brain? sounds like pisang goreng. yumyum. niceee.
ehehehehehee

i need my beauty sleep. ooooo.

chiao.

E.E

who wants to go to the click five concert!!!!!

erm.. thats suppose to be a question.haha. tell me!!!!

i wanna goooooooo!!

but then eh, its super duper expensive.

i'll be super broke if i really go.hhmm..

hehehe. i'm coming back to school tomorrow!!!!!!!

i'm just feeling super duper euphoric, estatic and enthusiastic to get bck to sch!!

oooo, its aliteration! is it?- e, e. i'm not sure.

bleah whatever.

haha.

chiao.

oh me gosh.

oh me gosh. i tore about half a cm of my gum to reveal abit of bone.

so scary. what should i do now?

oh my god. relax..

the stitches just made it look worse

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh how,how now!

on a lighter note, hehehe. i finished a 2000 word malay lit essay. i feel so accomplished.

hehehehehehe.

chiao.

oh soggy fries!

when mummy allowed me to eat the soggy fries today, i sat outside macs and listened to the country music being blasted while waiting for the taxi, i felt like i am the happiest girl on earth. well, at that moment. hahaha. for the first time in dayssssss i ate solid food. although its only soggy fries. still! its not porridge! everyday is a day nearer to good food! hehe!


i just hate it when some of the actions of my friends showed that their boyfriends are much more important than their friends. (khai, i'm not targeting you ok, this is quite general.) it had happened too many times to me that i felt that i should let this out. its not like their boyfriend are going to be beside them when they broke up. what about before they get hitched? who's beside them? their girlfriends right? not their boyfriends. when they havent get attached yet, wherever they go, its their girlfriends. and when they get attached already, they abandone their girlfirends. it became so difficult just to meet for a few hours. although i booked you like weeks before, you still made plans to go out with him. i'm just hurt. call me petty or what. boyfriends more important than bestfriends huh? i question our relationship now. but i bet you dont see it dont you?

i cant say for sure if i get hitched in the future (if i ever, its not like i even care.)that i wont be like this, but i can assure you, i will be very careful about this.


i'm becoming an owl, i work at night, i sleep in the day. i hope this doesnt affect me when i get back to school.

and i need to go back to school like immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant stand the thought of me being miles behind everyone else. i cant stand this. i feel like i am such a sloth, a glutton, doing nothing at home. (yeah right, rest, recover. i've recovered and back to my normal self. and i've rested too much.)

i thought of sneaking out of the house to go to school. hhmm maybe i should do that...

chiao.

hhhmmm maybe?

oh oh i received a bouqet of flowers today!!! thank you gerdine! :)))))))

yay, thank goodness i'm feeling way betterrrrrrrr.

i think the goodest friends i have are all in band. thats why it meant so much to me. but i guess now i have to set my priorities right. maybe i should think of doing other stuff then playing music. i wont die right. maybe its time i leave band life.hhmmm maybe? i wont die without band right. yeah, maybe...

i just cant imagine the pile of work that i have to rush when i get back to sch. while people are slogging so hard in sch and here i am.. sleeping and eating and watching tv. (oh oh i watched tarzan on kids central! i miss that movie..)

*covers face. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.
but i did try to do my work.... (i guess thats denial when so far, i only did gp) haiz.

maybe i just talk too much. so much for my enthusiasm to study a few months before.

so nowww, no more slacking AT ALL.

ragh.
chiao.

writhing in pain

the tag that all hospital patients had to wear.


the after effects of the op is just horrible ok. horrible. plus the fact that i miss acband and cant go swiss. i dont want to imagine the pile of work that i have to catch up when i get back to school. thinking abt my grades and a levels makes me feel nauseous.

some complication occurred during the op so i had 2 op instead of 1. hurhurrrr....

my face look like a puffer fish. the powerful antibiotics and painkilers makes me giddy and groggy and nauseous. i cant even stand, or else i just collapse to the floor. i cant eat, i'll just puke evrything out again. and the bleeding just wont stop.

aaaaaaahhhhhhh, save me. i feel like puking now. ergh, disgusting.

(:

ohhhh an hour more! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh

hahahahhaa. i feeling kinda egg-cited. i dunno why.

i had the bestest breakfast today. mac gridles. yummmmmmmmmyummmmmmmmmmm
ok, here goes.

chiao.

life goes on.

photo credits goes to dwayne and sheree!


i guess its ok if i'm not going to swiss but its just how certain people shows explicitly that they dont want me to go. treating me like a replacable commodity, who can be discarded when not in use but will be utilised when needed. i hope that certain people realise their mistake in time before other people treat them like that.

over the years as a band member, one important thing that i had learnt is that each member is unique, just like the sound they produce whether its a nice sound or an unearthly horrible sound. it tells everyone that that is so and so band. like us, we are ac band. therefore, no one is indispensable. whether you are the pro-est player or the player who always get scolded by dr lee, you are what makes the band sound as it is. therefore, no one is to be excluded. no one. and no matter what.

there goes my motivation to study. great....... BUT i wont let that certain people bring my down my confidence. AT ALL.





these few days, mummy has been spoiling me. by cooking for me all the dishes that i've been wanting to eat (like black pepper crab!), buying for me all those sweet stuff that i like ( brownies, apple strudle, mango cake from royals. ahw.. i feel so fat!) and buying for me just anything that i want. her reason? because i wont be able to eat all these for a long long time soon. ok, she meant well, but i feel so guilty. considering i used up all her savings for this operation. grrr.
not forgeting, she also bought loads of instant porridge mix. ahhhh...

i love my section. thanks sheree, edwin, for calling me up and talking to me. i felt reeeaaallyyy touched ok. haha.

chiao.

rawr

i've been trying hard to suppress these emotions. but suppressing it is draining the life out of me. while letting it out makes my heart ache. and people are good at reading my face. or maybe its just me that is oblivious to my own facial expressions? so i dont know ok.

everything is like hitting me all at once. home, studies, band, relationships.

i want time to stop. then maybe i can take a step back, breathe and solve all these. its quite overwhelming to endure all this alone.

maybe i should just concentrate on my studies. but running away from problems will not solve it.

and, to achieve somethings, sometimes you have to sacrifice something or even people. but then again, are these sacrifices worth it just to achieve your goals? i feel sometimes its ok if we dont achieve it. its not the end thats impt, but the process. well, some people just dont understand and this effects others. whats more, the effects could be detrimental.

i should be more focus on my studies and work harder. at this rate, i think i'm gonna fail a levels.
i wanna quit school uh.

chiao.

its ok.

letto sebelum cahaya. :) lovely!


anyway, had 3 teachers calling me up today. all addressing my current situation. well, i feel numbed.

thanks seri, for listening to me all night till the next morning, entertaining me and all. :) thank you my dear friend.

whatever happens from now on, i'm gonna take it in with grace.


and smile!

chiao.

smiling away.

ok, now,now, lets look at my bleak life with positivity here. i shall smile for the rest of the days while i can. :))))))))) and laugh and eat. plus enjoy the company of my section, my band and the rest of the world. for now.

i came to this conclusion aft listening to turnadot and metamorphosis for like 1001 times. such beautiful songs. ah. beautiful, beautiful... just impossible to describe in words.

alritey, enough of slacking.

i guess only chocolates, music and coffee can make me happyyyyyyyyyyyy. wohooooooo. i'm high due to an overdose of caffeine.


chiao.

auditions.. again?

auditions again? not again lar... i dont want what happened last year to repeat. enough is enough. its called emotional trauma, get it? i guess no one will understand the feeling unless you go thru what the few of us did.

anyway, i wont be able to recover in time for auditions. so that means one thing. no international swiss comp for me. thats may mean, no swiss trip.

how the heart aches. well, my tears have dried up. its just numbness that i feel now.

i wanna quit band now. yup, life sucks so badly now i just wanna quit band.

and i guess i shouldnt bother and burden people with my stupid problems.

chiao.

is it enough?

i' afraid. terrified. what if i am not doing enough? what if i am not putting enough effort? what ifs.. and the future? uh, looks so uncertain.

i wish i am tiny bit more smarter.

chiao.

caffeine + migraine

omg. 2 weeks more. 15th april and good bye to smiling shaheera.

i want to complain. like everybody else in the jc curriculum, we are tired. very tired. i'll resort to caffeine and chocolates to keep me awake and energetic. uhhhh and my migraine is here. AGAIN.WTH.

COME ON PEOPLE WE CAN DO THIS!!!!! gogogogo!!!

i feel like going into a cupboard, lock myself inside and start screamingggggggggggggggggggg.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

chiao.

april fools day

april fools day. the council is full of crap. haha, the council pres got 'dethroned' and replaced by another. so nonsense.

alritey on a serious note, me and divi have decided to become study buddies! haha. we'll mug, encourage, motivate and share knowledge together. :) how great is that. oh well, anyone who wants to join are welcome!

dilemma-should i go for the operatin or not?i have to make a decision! oh god, help meh.

i've been behaving weirdly lately. i can be so moody at one moment and the next, i'll be super high. and i am super sensitive these few days. pardon me if i have acted in a way that annoys you.

i rock, you rock, we rock.

yeah, i rock. and i really should be studying now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chiao.

reality tv

ok, the realities of life have hit me. prelims in a few months time. that means a levels too. considering how much i screw up terms, i really have to buck up. like seriously. thats not gonna be easy considering how slow my brain process information. i'm clueless as to how i should improve my grades. yup i'm feeling kinda like lost hope in myself i guess. like i'm so stupid. grrr. band's just gonna be more intensive. practise and practise and practise. turandot, paganini, charming asia and feng yang. what else? i cant remember. hmm.. persis is running through my head..

mcs drama is starting. well, i'm supposed to be the costume designer. erhmm.. ohk. and the music arrangement is.. omg. we have no clue about malay tradisional theatre whatsoever. oh, we'll manage. somehow.

i have decided. i wont go on with the operation even though its gonna deteriorate my condition. i dont care, i'm not gonna put the family kinship that i have to risk. just because of money. money. money. money. i just wanna help my parents lead a peaceful life in the future. thats all. the present probs and experiences have told me something. money isnt everything in life.

will i be able to endure all this? i dont know.

ok, so obviously i am stressed here.

ya allah, aku mohon kepada mu, ampunilah dosaku, dosa ibu bapa ku, keluargaku, guru-guruku and seluruh umat islam. ya allah, aku memohon kepada mu, ringankan lah bebanan yang sedang ibu bapa ku hadapi. aku bertuah mempunyai ibu bapa yang begitu menyayangiku, membelaiku, berkorban untuk ku. hanya kau sahaja yang tahu betapa susahnya mereka membesarkan aku dan adik-beradikku. murahkanlah rezeki keluargaku, berkatilah rezeki yang datang ya allah. permudahkanlah perjuangan ku ini sesungguhnya aku mahu menyenangkan hati mereka. memenuhi kewajipan ku sebagai seorang manusia di dunia ini sebagai hambamu. ya allah, terangilah hati ku ini supaya ilmu senang aku garap. berkatilah ilmu yang aku cari. berilah mereka-mereka yang berbuat salah kepada yang tidak bersalah dan dalam kesusahan balasan yang setimpalnya. sesuangguhnya kaulah yang maha adil lagi maha mengutahui. ya allah, sesungguhnya aku hanya seorang hambamu yang lemah, begitu lemah sehingga aku harus meminta dan memohon kepadamu, kabul kan lah doa ku ini.

time mug, mug, mug!!!!!!!!!!!!
chiao.

fun-o-rama-ing

fun-o-rama was fun in a way and not in some other ways. so, lets not talk about the less cheery side. it'll just make me wanna stab people.

its was super tiring day. and the days leading to it. the morning started out quite slowly with very little people in acjc. i had supermarket duty. so i just sat in the hall for 1 1/2hrs and stone. then went arnd the stalls and i was forced by cong to play at his stall. oh, i found out hidden talent! throwing coconuts at bowling pins!.... hahaha, i scored the second highest! wow. haha but as the day went on, i couldnt believe that acjc could be so crowded. the hunted houses were on full house. the queue went on and on till i dont know where. and there were so many people playing at our stall that it was quite impossible just to have the people on the shift working. so had to round-up everybody. the prizes were gone before 4pm but there were still people streaming in. hahaha. i felt like there was a food shortage as i couldnt grab hold of the halal food around and there were sooo many people. haiz.. so i had to dinner out with em, enjia and eugene. anyway there was no food at home. dinner out is damn frustrating because i ordered single mushroom swiss with a barley drink. and it costs me $5.15! whereas i can get a double meal for $6.25. grr. a hungry man is an angry man. mrt-ed home with eugene who had no more energy. yes, eugene! i mean it, no more energy! to talk or even to walk. we were extremely quiet and i had to help him with his stuff, if not i bet he wouldnt make it home. haha.

and i went home feeling hungry to an empty house. so blasted music into my ears at 12pm till 2 am before i fell asleep. so here i am working like a slave, cleaning, wiping and vacuuming the house 'cos theres people coming to view my house later. and theres no one.


ehw, i hate this. its giving me mood swings.

chiao.

the girls cant make it, kak siti had school, seri has to accompany her parents, the juniors went on without me, the rest either not interested or too busy. and minah asked me explicit questions making it as though i have no friends,while she keep saying she'll be waiting for her friends from other jc, her childhood friends and on and on. fuck off everybody. yes, i hate you people. get it? and i guess boyfriends more important than bestfriends right? wtf. 

fun o rama-ing

oh me goshhhhh fun o rama is tomorrow!!!!!!! so people out there, come to acjc tmr if you are bored! haha, it'll be so fun, so much delicious food! yeah!

i'm going to the haunted houses and scream 'pokeycock!pokeycock!' HAHAHAHA.

concert photos are taking ages to upload! i'll post later when i have time.

*slaps forehead, i've heard the muse recordings. credits to sam and sean! thanks guys! (although they wont be reading this) oh my.. we really need to improve alot. acsi did really well, good jobs guys!
*slaps forehead, i got a free fun o rama shirt which is pink in colour! PINK! argh. which i have to wear tmr!! noooo!

I DO NOT LIKE PINKKKKKKKK.GRRRRR.

i just wish people would have more faith in me. believe in me that i can play well, then maybe i would be able to play out and not be scared. hmm.. just disappointed with some people.

trust and understanding is what we lack. we have a few months more. lets see if we can do this.

ah, my family are overseas now. aaahhh i feel damn lonely...

chiao.

muse-ing 2008

acjc eupho 2008 :)))))))))))

the vietnamese model having a photoshot in esplanade! haha.-cong

the crazy trio-ryann, nadi and dwayne, who always calls me.. hehe, shant say in case more people starts calling me that.

the mighty esplanade concert hall when its empty. ahw.. i'm gonna miss sitting there and looking ahead from that angle. but i am looking forward to the day i am looking at my juniors from the audience seat playing some fantastic songs on stage.

muse is over. hmmm, i could have done better. kinda disappointed with myself. i'm sorry.. urgh. we sounded ok i guess. but could have done better. way better. considering during the practises we did better than that. oh well, its a learning experience. i sure learnt some things.

i feel damn tired. back to intensive studying and fun-o-rama. yay!

chiao.

i so so so loveeee this songgggggggggg. wohooo. jason mraz-i'm yours.

pre-concert day brain damage

concert is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh yeah, everybody knows that.. i need not annouce. but, concert is tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am sosososososososososososo egg-cited. haha. i'm afraid i cant sleep tonight. how eh.. i'll need all the energy tomorrow to play to my best ability tomorrow.

after all those long session of intonation, long tones, rthymic training in d minor, a minor la and what nots, our hard core band camp where we only eat, practise and sleep, listening to dr lee's angsty comments(he meant well after all..) you know what i mean ac band, lets make music. just put our heart into it and play music. sincerely.

i have put in alot of effort in perfecting my parts, all of us had too. so its now up to our ears, heart and musicality to deliver it.

i still remember the comment that i made way back in secondary school. i was pissed la, why damai band cant have our own public concert at VCH or SCH. how naive i was at that time. yeah, now i know the answer. its real hard work man. selling tickets to make sure you play to a full concert hall and not an empty one, pracising hard so that the audience's money is worth it and the planning of the concert itself is no joke. seriously, so kids, if you want your own concert, make sure you really can do it.

sat's prac was bad i guess. i just polished my instrument so i sounded seriously sharp!!! like all of my notes. haiz. i was soo pissed with myself. on mon, we really have to warm up properly. and tune every note. tsk, if not.. *covers face* plus, open our eyes big bigggg and watch dr lee's conducting. his conducting is damn unpredictable on concert days..

seriously, those who didnt come for this concert is gonna miss alot! too bad... because i think this concert is especially special. i'm not saying this because i'm part of it. but i have this intuition that it is special because all of us had worked so so so hard, cracked lips, lack of sleep, putting our studies on the line and all. and then theres acsi and barker and the combine bands. so people will not only watch acjc but all acs schools. erm.. excluding the pri sch. which i dont really want to work with, considering how it turned out for the christmas concert. hehehe.

aye...reached home at 11.30pm on sat. i was prepared to get slaughtered by mum. but.. i guess she cant be bothered with my band practise timings anymore hahaha.

chiao.

oh oh oh tomorrow is concert dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. ahahaha. i am feeling high.

acjc concert band at the esplanade

anglo-chinese concert band at the esplanade

on 24th march 2008, 7.30pm.

tickets left $18 and $21!

this is absolutely the last i really mean,

the LAST few hours to get yours tickets


and i really mean the LAST few hours


to get yours tickets

before the awesome concert!

so, hurry ask your friends along

and contact me or any

acjc concert band members.

alternatively, you call sistic! :)

banding

i'm feeling so excited as well as nervous for this concert. so many conductors and friends are coming to watch us. gosh.. i hope i dont screw up any of my exposed parts. oh my god.. this is sooo scary! oh yes, mr wong is going to conduct barker and they are playing ammerland. ahhh that song is so nice, they better bring justice to it! i'll be watching backstage! haha. oh yeah.. i'm clueless about concert gifts. and,and.. i finally sold all my tickets!!! gosh.. it was damn hard.. i had to make myself so thick skined.. forcing them to buy my tickets.. hahaha.


thursday's practice ended so late that i got blasted by mum. i was still in school at 10.30pm. how about that. i made so many mistakes, gggrrrr.. i'm so angry with myself. and i'm out of tune! but when i tune going up and down scales, i'm on the green light. howhowhow... mon's the concert already!!!

tmr's practice will be in acjc. i'm so glad we need not move to acsi... with instruments and all, heavy la. will be meeting all those little boys again. ah, sometimes they give me headaches... hesh.

good friday is really a good day to rest, considering that next week will be tough, band concert, fun o rama and not to forget to continue studying. i have to get ready to get balsted by teachers again for my terms . ggrr. i'm just so angry with myself. so angry.. that i cant say it explicitly.

i really HOPE fun o rama will be fun. esp when its with my class. i dont know..


suddenly, the memories of last muse came rushing back to me. :) oh the festive overture that we played. hehe. and the phantom of the opera plus the standing ovation that the euphos got aft it. i really want this muse to be so much better that last years!

chiao.

wicked

am i just plain stupid or retarded? choose one.

its ssp time.

chiao.

so how?

i dont know how i should react to my terms results. it like, really bad.. but i just dont feel any emotions. it all locked up inside. i worked stinking hard for it but yea, i failed yet again. i want to let it out but i guess it wont make the situation any better. so now, i have to kick my own butt, slap my own face and punch my own stomach to make myself work harder and not give up. although i failed again, i still have to go on..

just dont ask me if i'm ok because its a stupid question. obviously i'm not. dont ask me to cheer up because you wont feel any happier if you fail your terms and people ask you to cheer up. but i do appreciate the concern. thanks. i just need to be alone for now.


chiao.

Back to reality?? i dont wanttttttttttt

oh my god. march school holidays are over? but i have tons of work to do. like my long overdue lit hw, clean my room, hunt people to force to go my concert, get enough rest before school officially starts and err.. yeah, get ready mentally for school again. cant i have school with only band practises and music classes? i dont mind. i dont want to study about rocks and how precipitation moves around in the ground.

next week will be sooooo freaking busy. i just hope band practises will makes me less depressed after school since we'll be getting our terms results. argh. back to reality, yes.
mon-i must have individuals, tues-band prac till i dont know what time 'cos we'll be covering the crazy blue horizon piece, wed-combine sectionals, thurs- band prac from 6.30pm till late night. hurhurr.. fri-its good friday! another holiday! :) ermm.. wait, that means it study time! sat-combine prac with acsi, sun-maybe another prac, depends on our performance. hurhurrr.. the next mon, concert day! oh yes.. i need to prepare concert gifts too... hhmmm..

the past few days have been mentally, physically and emotionally challenging. band camp was quite intensive, till like i realise that i cracked my lips on the way home. (see, syad! we practised so hard to give you guys a really good concert, ok!)

i'll blog about all the drama that happened during band camp tmr.. or when i feel like it. 'cos remembering band camp makes me angry. yes, i feel like pouring acid on somebady's face. grrr.

chiao.

i love u girls till the bits.and crooks and corners.

wow! khai's devouring the waffles! hahaha.

look at how hiqmah is giving all her concentration to the art of eating fondue..

oh lalala, look at the balls of ice cream that wont melt till its in your mouth!

more photos in siti's camera. will upload when i feel like it. hahaha.

oh lalalala. went out with aisyah and syad today. watched horton. funny movie. i can hear syad guffawwaing loudly during the whole movie.. tsk.. noisy seh. ate at ljs, its been centuries since i went out, watch movie and eat. wow...

then meet up with the girls today. and yes, had a blast of a time. ate at food culture. then head to haagen daz to eat FONDUE. wwwooooo. syiok to the max seh. plus, waffles. oh me gosh. too much sweet stuff. makes go high nowwwwwwwwww. retail theraphy aft that. well, not excatly, we just look around, responding to the calls of 'sale' haha. whooots! and tmr is band camp!! how great is that. weeeeeeee. let me enjoy my last bits of holiday yeah. weeeeee.

tmrbandcamp. tmrbandcamp. tmrbandcamp.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

chiao.

banding

i told them to squeeze because i couldnt capture all of them. and so, look at their 'squeezed' faces.haha, my juniors..

ehmmm.. my dear section mates. (oh no, i look fat!)

told ya i was gonna have a blast. haha. but the saturday's practice started out badly. and dr lee lectured us. hhhmm.. i played badly too. its been quite a long time since i've practised due to terms.

but, had fun during section lunch and dinner. omg.. my section is totally crazy. my cheeks went numb and tears of joy ran down my cheeks from all the laughing. luch was at anchorpoint kfc and took alot of photos with sheree's cool and funky camera. hahaha. dinner was at holland v. i think we were so loud that there was this man who sat near us and said, 'this is how jc students behave..' like whatever man. then its alumni concert. oh, THEY WERE SO GOOD LA. the solos were outstandingly good. and the repertoire were excellent. i felt like standing up and start dancing during the encore. but of course, i'm still not out of my mind yet. aft concert, haha, irna met her idol. HAHA. i still laugh when i remember how it happened.

so, yesterday's prac was musically excellent. we improved i guess. dr lee said, good! very good. ahh, how difficult it is to make him happy with our practices. that, without edwin. isey man.. but i still get pick on. first because i didnt play together with the tenor sax during armenian. then second was when i was tying my hair. gandalf made me feel like i ran 2.4km. gosh, all that running notes. but yea.. i played it! my lips felt like it was going to drop off anytime soon. aft that marvelous band prac, i was going down the stage and guess what, i slipped and fell on the stage. aahhh, how embarassing is that. erm, yes, together with my eupho. hahaha. aft that went to keep my eupho and guess what again, i hit my head into the horn's bell's casing. ouch laaaa. i am so clumsy or what :(

band camp on thurs!!! wwweeeeeeeeeee!!!

oh shoot! i still have my $25 tics to sell! oritey, people!!!!

acjc muse at the esplanade! let us mesmerize you with our music! 24th march 2008, 7.30pm. so do come on down ! :))))))))))

last few days to purchase your tics with meh!

Life isnt that simple

a level results are out. some did well. some didnt.

i'm so proud of those who did. while the many others, i may not understand it now. but i guess i can feel the melancholic and tense atmosphere just now. and it wasnt nice at all. i feel sad. and scared too. u guys worked so hard and yet.. how will i fare?

i got an A for mt a level btw. but the person whom i wanted to please wasnt pleased at all.

what must i do to make u smile and be proud of my achievements?

tell me what?

i'll do just that.

must i run away from home then you'll give me your attention?

must i?

i swear i will make u see me.

i will make sure i am worth your attention.

if i can get a U grade and then to a D, i will jump from that D to an A.

i swear i will make cik sham's sacrifice worth while.

i swear i will get us out of this vicious cycle.

i tell u that.

but will i succeed?

i pray to you oh God, bless this journey of mine.

too much emotions in me.

tmr's band prac from 8.30 am to 5.30pm. then its alumni concert.

hmm, i'm gonna have funnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wwweeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

chiao.

whyyyyyyyyy???

when i get bored, i'll start to think. i'll go into my deep thinking mode.

like why do people want to avoid ageing? why?

why most relationships never last long? why does it always fade over time?

how do you know that person is trustworthy?

trust, accept, sincerity, love. and nothing else.

right?

ahw.. these questions are giving me headaches..

chiao.

recovery

its mass movement! its the downward movement of materials such as rocks and soil, etc, influenced by the force of gravity.

as you can see the word rocks and avalanche. its geog!!!


i wass so darn bored by studying. so ehehehe.. as you can see, terms is serious business.

true isnt it?

ok whats been happening? the greatest thing happening right now is that.. I FINISHED TERMS! yessssssssaaaaaaaaaa. wohooo. so now lets wait for results. which i am almost sure i will have to attend ssp. oh what the hell la. i've studied hard and early. i've done my best during the examinations. if i still cant pass. ggrr, i guess i have to try harder. esp geog, *rolls eyes. i wonder how my seniors who took geog actually managed to finish studying all of it? like seriously, how?? ok, enough thinking.

the weeks before terms were quite crazy for me.but i tried to relax.. cant afford to make the mistakes again, by panic-ing and all. band practice and studying for terms at the same time... i thought i will be screwed for terms but actually ok la. but wait, i am screwed for terms. went mugging with em, gerdine and enjia. i became quite stressed up with integration. and i got it at last on sat. kah-ching! ehehehe. then went to mug for geog with seha at esplanade lib. i think thats a really good place to study, seriously. even though i studied so much.. ahh just see the results la, how badly i screw up. but anyway, the last mt lesson was quite significant. hahaha. cikgu jam asked us to write a msg to each and everyone in class. and i got really sweet msg-es from my classmates. i was ssooo touched! ehehhehehe. then during band prac, 5 juniors came into my section. so not enough euphos to go arnd. and that prac was quite screwed up. i was in a darn stupid bad mood. ragh. i got hit by a rugby ball, someone almost abandone me and and a person's lack of passion, commitment and irresponsibility all add to my bad mood that night. freaky.. i was soo tired, angry and all. tons of hw to do, terms coming and the next day was mass pe. amazingly, i survived. wow. oh yeah aft that, band prac again and i guess my body just couldnt take it and i got muscle cramps on my legs that made me cringe in pain that day and i had to limp for a few days. ahahaha.

terms out, intensive prac for band is here i guess. band camp soon. I CANT WAIT!!!!! ah, there's still band concert tic to sell, fun o rama tic to sell. plus money issues like the switz trip and my surgery to think abt. oh god help meh. yeah meh. help meh.

chiao.

i think was good. especially the trumpets.
makes me wanna play pop songs again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so dead.

KHAIRIAHNI BTE JOHARI!!!!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

MAAAAFFFFFFFFFFF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!!!!!!!!!

i am sexy plus rich

i am rich! :)))))))))

oh wow, i didnt realise that!

haha i am the sexiest and wealthiest person on earth!

cool sia...
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

chiao.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i need alot of vitamin c. i need loads of motivation, determination and edurance. plus discipline.

i have been slacking too much. i am screwed for terms.

aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

chiao.

so how?

my minds says go on. my determination is still going on strong. it says, dont give up. but my physical body says thats it. i cant take anymore. so this is like the third time in feb alone i am sick again. isey bedah.. how?



no more panadols la. i hate that white stuff.



chiao.

aaahhhhhhhhhhhh

eupho gals. look at the pile of scores infront of us. intonation sessions are the worst but the most important!

zomg!!!!! poser!!!! bored by waiting for our intonation parts to be written on the board. so we made noises and started playing with our phones.

they took it aft sectionals!!!on put it as my wallpaper on my phone. tskkk.... thick skin people. haha.

and.... it was v-day on thurs. yay, i got roses. and band prac was awesome that day although i had dc before that. haha. dr lee was in a superr good mood. but it was the opposite on sat. talked alot of nonsense, sang on the way to mrt and laughed non-stop on the train.

after running the race. we were bored... b'cos we finished early. ehhemmm.. hahaha.

a myriad of events happening this week. makes go aaaaaahhhh. hahaha. cross country on wed. and tct won the champion house. haha, wow. and i think they should have made cross country at bedok reservoir. haha. all the east people will be on cloud nine.



and guess what! gp terms is next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me=dead.

chiao.

why oh why!

huh.. its sun already? why oh why???????????? i was just starting to enjoy myself. wah lau...
and terms is in 2 weeks time. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. i vow to get at least C for all my subjects. hhmm maybe thats quite a high target. nvm, aim high.

i'm trying to forget what happened. i guess nobody's perfect and i should live on. depend on no one except myself. and i cant wait for band practice. 5 days without my eupho feels like torture.

i guess now i can appreciate all those long slow orchestra peices. its quite nice actually. i use to wonder why some people can listen to 30mins of piano concertos without falling asleep. now i know why. i guess u have to go through the musical muturity yourself then you'll understand the beauty of orchestra music.

since i was quite free, i started thinking. whats the singificance of us living on earth? why do we continue to live on despite all the challenges and obstacles that we face almost everyday? i think i know the answer now. :)

ohw..can i have another week of holiday. ragh.

chiao.

Dikir 2008

here's the the dikir pictures. :))))))))))))))))))))))))










oh lalala. our dikir performance. melayu power sehhh.



baek ahhh. eh wahh.

pachelbel frangipani and white lilies

i thought i should light up this blog with something more cheerful. :) ah, beautiful.

pachelbel's canon in d is making me go high. schubert's serenade too.ah. they make me feel serene, relaxed. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

wonders of music. it makes me feel better. sooo much.

chiao.

why?

i feel like i have so much to say but now, i'm kinda clueless. ok, first things first, dikir barat was awesome. i really enjoyed myself on stage. now, i am voiceless due to all the shouting and screaming that i did for the last few days.but i was almost late for school. oh well what the hell.

this will be quite a different post than the previous one. i miss doing what i love most. like drawing and drawing and drawing and drawing. and no one sees or critises it. b'cos what i draw is a reflection of what i feel at that time. talking about feelings...

i may not be a loving person b'cos i dont know how to show people that i love them. but that doesnt mean i dont love you. i am not the kind of girl who says i-love-u-s to people and give them hugs whenever they want or say you are my sunshine or mushy stuff like that. just b'cos i dont do all this doesnt mean i have no feelings just that i keep them to myself. and that means you cant treat me anyhow you like ok. i'm just so angry with some of my fucking friends. how they treat me so nicely when they have a problem and needs my help or when i have something that they want. wow. how they treated me. now, when i dont have anything and they dont have any problem. they just discard me. leave me. treat me with such cold stares and remarks. theres just this tingling feeling in my heart that i cant describe. but i can tell you, its painful.

now, i dont know who to turn to. b'cos its so painful, i want to cry. i want to turn to you but i'm afraid i will just be a burden to you or hurt you.

and i still dont understand, maybe i will never be able to. why are you so unreasonable? i didnt mean to hurt you and i feel sad that i did. so sad i feel like i want to... i dont know. why,why?

theres just something stuck in my throat now. my eyes feels hot. whatever la. i want to start drawing now.

ah, i do have someone to turn to. GOD.

PS happy chinese new year. bak kua, kua, kua. HAHAHA.


chiao.

i feel good :)

this weeks been like..i-dont-care-anymore kinda week. 'cos i'm like already in a holiday mood. tomoprrow dikir performance in front of the school. i am sssoo egg-cited!!! wohooo! yesterday's prac was a bomb! then econs test. i feel quite ggod about it. but no, too confident is bad.

and. i've been getting sick these few days. again. yes again. like what the hell right. i've been eating panadols for like days. and my stupid fever still wont subside. oh well. cong says i work too hard. hah, i wish man. i seriously wish thats the situation now. haha. ahw.. gtg for PE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
i feel gooddddddddddddd.
hahahahha.

chiao.

economics blues

this iktiraf song never fail to bring me to tears and realise the greatness of God.

econs test in a few hours time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

haiiiizzzzzzzz

i need food. chocolates and coffee.

NOW.

i think we really gotta buck up people. haiz. that, especially apply to me.
and i seriously feel that the changes in the qm room system is partly because of my blunder that day. i dont like it. and i still feel darn guilty abt it!
and the puncuality issue is... ergh.. whatever.

now, now. went for dentist check up last thurs. and guess what, due to my surgery, i may not be able to perform in swiss. and i wont be playing for VCH concert either. i am so sad and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh about this. well, the VCH concert is confirm i guess.

i'll just pray to God that i'll recover fast.

oh my god econs test like 2 days more!! i am so nervous! aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

haiizzzzzzzzzzzzz

chiao la.

stupid

sometimes, i just be plain freaking stupid and blur block like sotong causing people trouble and all. this is one of those times when i seriously hate myself so much. i cause trouble and other people have to take the blame. scold me. hit me. i feel like saying the f word la. i am so angry with myself. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

i feel like i've done a zillion wrong things. just whats wrong with me? why am i behaving like this?
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

i wanna stab at something to release all these emotions.

chiao.

so how?

ok, my bad.. i've learnt my lesson. when you are sick, stay at home and rest. i thought i could still go on for band prac on sat when i am already feverish on fri. and so.. on sat, i cant even play my tuning note without feeling breatheless. i was shoo-ed from practicing and had to sit at LT 4 and watch them play paganini. although i was half asleep all the way, i could hear them play. and i was awed! it sounded damn nice! i'll say better than the recording that i had. seriously. even dr lee said they played beautifully that day. wahhh.. if we continue on playing like that and improving, the gold in switz will be ours man! haha.

i cant wait to get well soon and start studying properly again. gahhh. each time i take my medicines, i'll fall asleep 'cos its the kind of medicine which makes you sleep.but if i dont take, i'll have to suffer this sickness. so how? both situation disallow me from studying and concentrating properly. so how?how, how, how???? should i go to school? if i dont, i'll miss alot of lessons. but if i go, i may get worse. so how?

Chipmunks and mouthpieces

hahahaha freaking funny. they use mouthpiece only u know. hahahaha

Randomness

i am just plain lazy to blog now or felt too tired. ah.. i need brain boosters and energy supplements. i feel sssoo tiredddddddd. and sick, stupid phlegm.

schools getting more hectic and i'm trying to keep up. with band almost everyday, each time, by the time i reach home i'll be so tired, i'll just fall asleep on my study table and ended up not finishing a single thing. like yesterday night when i am supposed to finish my malay lit homework. arghhhhhhhhh. i'm so angry with myself. ah.. i can play my armenian dances solo parts already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yessaaaaaaaaaa!

i still cant foeget the joke that divinia cracked during econs. hahaha.
divi: sir, is kfc considered an inferior good or a normal good?
mr mash: erm... (sir in his thinking mode) usually it is a normal good..
divi: no, sir, its finger likin good sir!
HAHAHAHAHA freaking funnyyyyyyyyy

awwws and nicole has flew off to australia. good bye friend, i'll miss u. aaahhh so saddddddd.

now i know why..i've got the answer, why some people finds it so difficult to show that they love or care someone or just the deep feelings that u feel. hehe. now i knowww... hhmmm...

made testube thingy with my class. quite fun la. i made one which is rainbow coloured. sounds easy yeah.. u needs lots of patience to mix the right amount of colours. that special tube will be for mr lau. he deserves it. :)
okies, banding time! wwwwwwwweeeeeee!!!!!!

chiao.

hate love love hate

i love u but sometimes.. i hate u.

i know i shouldnt feel this way.

i just cant help it.

i dont want to fight with u anymore.

please, let it go.

aahh.

chiao

The start of homework piling up, up, up and away!!

awww, i'm on cloud nine now.. shant tell anybody about this! HEHEHE. isnt it amazing how a smile can make your day...


and,and, thank u seha for the help. :) i'll give u back what i owe you 'cos i know your life is not any easier than mine.

i dont like tuesdays because my timetable has 1 hour break every few periods. and then there's swim PE next week. how i hate wearing that stupid swimsuit. darn.. after that rush for band prac.. tsk.. wet hair and all. oh well, the only egg-citing thing on tues is band prac. haha.

wed is awesome! only 2 lessons. but but but. with mass pe and i survived! cool seh..

thurs is lectures and lectures and more lectures. by 1.30pm, my brain juices were sucked dry. what with GP mass media and geog mass movement. mass, mass, massively overwhelmed by the workload! aahhhhhhhhhhh. but i end early la. yay! and edwin's birthday celebration. the fed ups delivery, the tau pok-ing and euphonium prestige label made me feel so tickled. oh yes, not forgeting the disney princess balloon! ahahahahaha. 'congratulations, its your birthday today! happy birthday to you.. bla, bla...' hahahaha, oh man. band was quite bad, dr lee was in a bad mood and started scolding everybody.

by fri, i just want my sleep. and i gym-ed! yessa!

now, time to tackle the never-ending pile of homework. way to go!


ta rah!
chiao.

aaahhhhhhhhhhhh

3 consecutive days of school and banding makes me go aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY EDWIN! :))))))))))))))))))))))

a whole load of stuff going on. i feel so tired.

damn..

geog tutorial mass movement

human geog lect 7

econs macro tutorial A

econs test in 2 weeks time

H2 malay compo.

Analysis of chapter 5,6,7

math practice question no 8,9,10.

GP mass media essay.

WOW. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok, chill. only the second week of school.

chiao.

living

live the life u love

love the life u live.

think positive

think positive

think positive.

ah, again,my mouth got the better of me.

think positive.

deep, deepa, toodeep, verydeep, deepy!

ah, its the second day in school and i felt really sleepy in the morning. my timetable is quite satisfying this year, compared to last year. no more NL classrooms! and climbing up the stairs early in the morn after assembly to get to the hall. haha. yay! and i have tons of homework already la. and the teachers keep reminding us of As. ahhhhhhhhhhh a levels? fun o rama fund raising getting started. so is my class! and i still have to sell the coupons!


deep, deepy, deepa. toodeep! HAHAHA.

ah, ok la, back to work la.

chiao.

aloha 2008,byeee 2007!!!

ah, KL is super duper uber freaking fun. hehehehehe.i am so fat now. gawd, i think i wont be able to do PE anymore. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i ate and ate and ate and ate. but mostly i ate the food that i cant eat here in sg like subway, pretzels and gelato and fish and co and erm.. i cant remember what i ate... yummmmmmmmmm....... will post pics here when i feel like it. haha. and sorry people, i didnt get u guys anything because i didnt shop at all except for food.

homework at last done! except that econs online learning where the system always cock up. stupid.

i cant wait for school. whats in store for me in 2008? i feel kinda excited but nervous as well. i know there will be alot of obstacles for me. there will be school to cope with, homework, tests, prelims and a's. then there's band overseas competition where i have to work really hard. this one, i really gotta make sure i really improve because i want to be part of making acband proud, since i've missed the chance this year.. oh well, dont mention this or i'll turn into a waterfall. and concerts too, march muse and june concert. then theres ac fun-o-rama. through this,i really hope i can forge deeper friendship with my classmates, becuase i dont want to waste my 2 years with aa3 just like that. and mcs drama production. plus dikir performances. ouch. i'll be super busy. and i need to conquer a levels. a levels. i hope GOD save me from that.

it felt like it was just yesterday that i first came into ac. i'm feeling nostalgic here.. hahaha. i didnt expect i'll get in ac, seriously. and i didnt think about ac or acband at all before o levels. i even had a bad impression of ac schools. basically i dont like the people because they are arrogant. but on the contary, i'm wrong. untill i came for tune-in. and i was there all along. along the way i have learnt to love acjc and acband. i was darn scared i couldnt get in. furthermore, mum dont like me being in ac. but i got through. first 3 months was so fun. my og were great.

they made me feel at ease.

then its aa5. gawd, i wouldnt trade them for anything. i love them so much. i love my subject combi. hist, art and econs h2 and h1 math. too bad i cant take that combi anymore. especially art. hhmm... when i was in sec 4, my art teacher offered me to take o level art even though its quite late compared to other people, but the principal said no as i already have higher malay and dnt to cope with. wth. i was feeling so sad. tsk. maybe i'm just destined not to learn art. band was quite crazy. i was struggling with festive overture. the running notes and the super high A and Bb note that was in that piece. but i guess i manage to do it. its a struggle,no doubt. i saw other j1s struggle too. i've never practised so hard in my life for band before. but its worth it.

o levels results came and i.. oh well, cut it short i didnt do well as i wanted to. i cried like nobody's business. untill the ex-seniors frm damai band had to console me. haha. mum was puzzled as to why i'm crying since i did ok. i was seriously worried i wouldnt get into ac again. i was so afraid, i cried again. haha. i remember that day there's sectionals. and i have no mood. edwin has no mood too b'cos the mep teacher said something that made him angry and amirah thought of cancelling it too. i felt sad too, i wont be able to meet my friends anymore as some of them had been transfered out. hhmm.. i miss them. then i

meet aa3. i wasnt too happy. i just dont like their bimbotic and girly ways. i tried to adapt to them and at the same time the hectic schedules, band practices, homework, tests and what with family too. yes, i was struggling. mum was constantly nagging at me for sleeping so late. and i keep fighting with her. oh well. march muse came and i was so nervous. i still cant believe i performed on esplanade. not once but thrice this year. wow. then syf auditions. it still gives me the chills and i still remember the moments vividly. for those who stood by my side. thank u. i will remember what u did and everything that u said. especially my section. :) the days after that were quite horrible. i couldnt face the band members. basically i felt devastated. but yeah thats not the end of the world. i try to think positively and i try to help them whenever i can. afterall, its for the band's sake. syf came. 11 may 2007. it was a horrible week. training for nafa was like.. ahh.. i felt soo drained. then it was the common test week. so i had very little sleep. i studied geog the day before and i couldnt answer a single question. i felt so horrible. i cried again. man.. how many times did i broke down? and i got scolded by ms sng during the syf itself. i cant believe acband gwh. its surreal. i felt happy but sad. dunno la. mixed emotions. and my girlfriends planned a surprise birthday bash at seoul garden. i broke down again la. tsk.. i cry alot. its like the worst birthday i had in my whole life but its sweet at the same time.

after that, its scheherazede. things got better as i try to improve myself. wow, all those double and triple tonging..

before i realise it, i'm on the train to negeri sembilan with the mcs peeps. hehe. so much fun and we surely bonded. mcs drama too. hahaha. then terms. well, it was totally failure for me. expected it la. after that i vowed to myself that i will not fail promos.

then the later half of 2007 was a blur. basically i was fighting with my emotions. yeah,coping to let go of...:) let me keep this to myself. i suddenly realise that the j2s had step down and i sure felt the loss. we sounded different, hollow i guess. i dont know. and then life continues on with more banding. i guess we have grown quite close as a batch. promos coming and i was studying like i never studied before. but now i can say i could have work harder. i was determined like crazy to overcome promos. and yeah, i did! but the moments mounting to the results was nerve wrecking. i cried again. tsk. again. promos over christmas concert and band fest. well, great concert, i made new friends. and learnt some things.

2007 sure has thought me some things. about people. about emotions. about life. but it has left me with questions too. alot of them which i know i will discover if i'm patient enough.

now, good bye 2007. heloo 2008!

i pray to god u give me the strength i need to carry on.

i am a j2? wow. HEHEHEHE.

chiao.