i know its kinda little late to be blogging now. but CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?????!!!!! oh well, i just finished my hml compo. 2 more to go. 4 more chaps of bio, organic chem and phy to go. PLUS my beautiful folio waiting for me to touch it. ergh. gosh i'll study bio now. hope can finish it by today. all this due nxt week. lalala.. i'll study now larh..

bock to books..
chiao ppl

difficult times

this week has been the worst week of my life. and i tell u the WORST!! ergh. i cry at the slightest provoke. at anything. when those ppl had public caning, i was on the verge of crying, of course lah i hid it. i cant show ppl that i'm crying especially when its at parade square. then ms nura made me cry. of course i was trying damn hard lah to hide it. she told us of the rumours that the student frm our class had told the teacher. i told u!! there are hypocrites in our class.. damn..haiyo.. dunno lah.. then watch movie during hist. terrible movie. i cried too.but no one see larh, again. all those sufferings that ppl had to go through because of wars. i hate it. hitler is sso damn freaking cruel larh. then its the oral. i was determined not to let my nerves get the better of me. but i think i wasnt thinking properly and i said illogical stuff. gosh.. the examiner was like giving that kind of i-dont-understand-what-you-are talking-about face. i was kinda pissed off actually by her. ergh. and bai is confident she can get a distinc for oral. oklah.. wth..

its just one of those periods in life that u get pissed off by damn every little thing. and home was not a comfort for me either. i wish i can just run away frm all my probs. but i know i cant. i have to face it. mum only knows how to scold me when there is housework to be done. cant she ask other ppl in the house? and i'm taking my o levels this year for goodness sake. she's always scolding me for the slightest stuff. even when she's angry, she'll scream at me. coming home aft a really stupid shitty day at school and u just wanna talk to someone like your mum but she is not there. in sch, i feel so lonely. i dont have frens. come home, its empty. i feel so empty. ergh. i cant cry. i'm tried of crying. no more tears left to shed. them dad? in his own freaking world. why must he be the garantor for his bro?? who wants to led a better life but make us suffer? what if our hse is seized? where do we stay? ergh. get a life man. i mean a brain. more likely. shit larh.. i shouldnt be ranting bout my family probs so publicly larh.. but where else can i vent my anger? i dont have frens where i can say all of this to. anyway, if i dont vent it, maybe i'll go crazy like shek ngai. bro is the worst ever person i can think of. i wish he would disappear. yes, i'm cruel but he's heartless. i want to get out of that hse. go somewhere i can smile and be me. (that's in band)

as the days go by, o levels is getting nearer. its getting me edgy. tests makes me go mad. i have 3 higher malay compos to fiish up plus the five year series. my dnt... god, i pray to u, help me complete it. amin. tests, bio, chem, phy.. darn.. half my brain is in the drain. i cant think anymore.

i dont understand why i get frens that are so shitty. argh. khai said that i look like i dont appreciate my frens. but not saying it doesnt mean i dont ok.. i love my frens.. even though some hate me.. but i still LOVE my frens. ok.. its just that i dont know how to express my feelings ok. i grew up in a place where u dont go arnd and hug ppl and kiss them when u want to say u love them. its just hard for me. see frens together while i walk alone. it hurts ok. when walking frm parade square to class early in the morning... haiz.. shudnt frens help each other when they are in need? share everything together? not leave them in a ditch when they really need u most.. not taking advantage of them.. ish.. not backstabbing them.. shit larh..wth..

get back to reality man.. i shud be doing my hw..NOW! instead of blogging. actually i still have alot to say.. but wth.. longs posts are boring.. so no need to read again..
chiao ppl.

i miss band!! terribly!! i wish the sec4s can come back and play together like last time.. i think the band sound really bad.. haiz.. how to maintain the silver we got last syf? gosh.. i dont wanna think about it. know wat.. i wanna sign up for the saf military band. :) aft o's lah. ahaah.. big ambitions but i'm gonna go for it.. dont care lah.. can get salary some more! and alot of guys..:)) hehehe.. doing wat i love most and get $$ plus the experience to perform internationally.. which musician doesnt want!!
and i'm hating the stupid sg idol lah.. so crappy!!!!! i mean come on lah open ur ears can?? ppl like joakim and paul shud be out lah.. but then good singers like jay and rahimah are instead the ones who got voted out! are these ppl deaf? come on lah this is a singing competition, so u shud be chosing them base on their singing abilities!! not their looks!! errgghh!! singaporeans nowadays are so stupid!
and dnt is supposed to be handed in at the end of this month!!! and i havent finish my folio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this week have ss and hist common test with bio all the sec 4 topics this mon. hml prelims coming. five-year series with 2 compos to be completed at the end of the ndp hols which i have not finish yet..
the ndp hols i spent my time relaxing (hehe.. cant blame me.. i miss my bed) and doing dnt.. haiz.. i still have the tecnical drawing to do.. orthographic and explosion drwing!! the worst of all!!! plus i studied my bio. now left the sec4 topics which need lots of TLC frm me since the last test i did badly. and i mean really bad. eventhough i pass. but i still have my hml hw and hist to study. which is alot. plus mr leong want us to hand in the artefact by this wed. how to? when i havent finish my tecnical drawings??
this wed is 'the' day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! o level el oral... man.. i have to do well in this.. since my compre and compo is hopeless....
and seriously i cant stand the ppl in the class, irritating assholes. making fun of ppl at their own expense. they think they so big is it. they have the right to make fun of ppl? pls lah.. other ppl oso have feelings wat. cant u spare a thought for them?? and some.. wah.. talk big seh... but wat they do all is contradicting. hypocrites.
eerrgh.. enough of this.. have to cont's wif my compo..haiz.. when will this end.. i guess aft o level i think..
chiao ppl.

this is one boring entry. warning beforehand. ohk.. ohk.. this wk totally rowks.. and i keep smiling ahahaha.. ( to ***** and he smile back at me!!hehe!!!)

hmm on mon went to watch pirates. and i'm totally addicted to the soundtrack!! omg!! anyone have the song?? i want it!!! gosh.. then emath lesson was the best this wk. of course the trail lah.. so fun even though i had to team up wif roy.. eeiihhww. but luckily it not wif shek ngai. ahaha.. my grp was the last to come back to class.. hehe.. but some of the ques kinda hard for me. then there's the sec2s ppl selling their stuff for pw. gosh.. i remembered when it was my time.. me, hiq, khai, aishah and azilah.. haiz.. all those are left with just memories.. then they sell brownies.. oh my.. its ages since i ate a brownie!! wah.. it was heaven man tasting the chocs!! i LOVE CHOCOLATES!!! hehehe.. pe was equally fun.. we did aces day workout!! ahahaha.. i was laughing my hearts out when i saw shek ngai doing it... wahahahaha....!!!!

now..i need to start studying again.. i mean continue wif my work.. chiao ppl!!