i am me. therefore i am.

OK, I'm seriously like panicking right now. the four days i'm not in sch, i just wonder how much i have missed out on the lessons thought. i'm so dead. so many stuff to catch up on. what if i cant catch up? whats more with the current results that my tests are showing, i am 95% sure i'm getting retained. i am dead. seriously. unless i do something drastic improvements to make myself improve. 3h2 passes and 1h1 pass. sounds easy but not really. terms is going to be much more harder but i'm going to do better. haiz.

tmr theres band prac. i cant wait for it. but, but, but. i still havent tell mum. die. she's gonna scream at me if i tell her i'm going to sch tmr. gosh... i can just hear her railing at me...'what! go to sch?! u have just recovered! cant u just stay at home? spent time with your family! go to sch and what? play your instrument, huh?! i dont care, stay at home!' oh man.. thats how she will go on and on all night. oh man..oh man...and she's like in a big bad mood right now! how.. how.. hhuurr...*sobs *sobs..aaarrrggghhh!!!!!! i'm 17 and she still control where i go, with who and what time i come home. damn i need my freedom.

OK, i'm not going to care. i'm 17. its time i make my own decisions and be responsible for it. yeah, i should . i will tell her somehow. then whatever happens, i shall pray to god. oh man... this sounds so silly. just going to sch on sat for cca is a freaking big headache for me la. i wish someone would understand this freaky mother of mine because even i dont understand her la!!!!!
whatever she wants me to do, i did it for her. even abandoning my dream to learn design at SP.
ok, whats past is past, its over. i'm not going to brood over it and cry.

damn i seriously need my own FREEDOM!!!!!