i am me. therefore i am.

oh my god i cant imagine how much suckier i can get. i screwed up my group OP. yay, best huh. and i think i am the worst speaker in the whole level. i stutter, my grammar suck, i speak so soft that even my ST said she didnt pay attention to what i'm saying that means i am so boring. my mind just went blank and no words come out from my mouth. like what can i do? i wasnt this bad when i did presentation in sec sch. In fact Mrs ling was so impressed with me she asked me to be the mc for national day with jack from 4e1. suck. i feel so terrible. and the ppt slides that i did was...... god, atrocious. windows vista seriously suck la. i edit and saved it nicely. then when i opened it again to take another look, it became all screwed up. i dont know what else to do la. and when i changed the sequence of the slides i got scolded by my grp leader. yay eh. best. i change it because some people present like 4 slides only while others present like 10 slides. i dont want to give some people more and others less what. i didnt do all that for fun ok. aiyah i no need to explain myself la.

and i think my group doesnt work together. everybody is so individualistic. and some are quite irresponsible they didnt do much and get credit. best. no co-operation at all. and when something screw up, one blames the other.

oh god am i that bad? i know ms leow dont want to say anything bad maybe she's scared i become embarrased or something like that. i just hate it la when people are ssoo nice. are they real and sincere? sometimes i know that some people are not that nice but people just dont know that. and that makes me angry because they cant see that person's true self. i hate hyporcrites. but sometimes i feel like i should become like them. u know, bermuka-muka. yeah something like that. maybe that way i'll be happier and i will be able to get what i want. but thats not me. when i'm not smiling to u that means i'm in a bad mood or just feel terrible not because i'm arrogant or something like that. I am not a hypocrite who gives a fake smile to makes others feel happier. i think people just dont know me well enough. i am not like what people think.

now, what should i do to my ppt slides? i wish like burning my laptop.

then my surgery is finally finalised next week on wed. yeah i am lil bit scared but that will be the first of many more that will come in the future. and it will cost like $3100 to $4000. how am i going to get the money? i dont know. not only that theres also so many possibilities that the surgery will go wrong. and i am not sure if i can make it to march muse due to the series of surgeries and recovering process that i have to undergo.

tomorrow the form teachers will tell us if we get promoted or not. even though i passed my exams. but my marks are.................haiz. u know what i mean. i just scraped through. i dont know if i can make it combine with my term results.

and i suck at malay. oh gosh, it usd to be my best subject now, what had happened? i dot have time to revise also, since i've been doing OP almost everynight. if i dont get A i'm gonna retake.

seriously, everybody is equal but others are more equal than some.
yes, i think.

oh well, lets look on the brighter side, theres combine band prac with the rest of the acs schools on sat!!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :))))))))))))))))))))) i cant wait wait wait.

chiao.