death

bored to death!!! aarrgghh!! seriously i'm ssoo bored. and i totally have no mood for homework. i still havent start on my art hw.. darn... how to start? i havent ask mr saiful how to do it. lost..so lost.. i have no idea wat it is talking bout man... man, this mon i have to look for him and ask him. then on wed have band prac the whole day. eerrgghh!! the day before our band camp?? nuts arent they?? band camp will be so torturing wif all the practices and marching..and they still want a band prac before the camp?? eerrgghh!!! but i don noe why i keep istening to the eL folk song suite. it is really nice man!! i don care this coming sectional on mon, i will get the melody for no. 3!! I must noe how to play it even though i'm not going for the competition.

speaking of the international band competition.. i envy shamil. he is returning frm malacca todae.. GGGRRRR... how come mum let him go to malacca bt not me to genting?? moreever his trip is like a holiday trip with no educational values! but mine is totally diff!! Mine is a music exchange!! an international competition!! meeting band members frm all over the world and listening to diff interpetations of band music... will open my mind, eyes and also especially ears. i totally need this to improve in my playing. one of the reasons why shi ying can improve was because she went to many concerts and listen to their playing. but me..i had never gone to any concerts.. precisely because mum did not allow me. i'm soo lousy at my playing... and slow.. how come shi ying can get ssoo fast. all the rhythms, pitching, tempo... haiz.. i'm ssoo lousy..

i just dont understand why mum is sssssooooo reluctant to give me MY freedom?? sometimes i have to go to certain places because of school but she doesnt allow me. doesnt that make it very difficult?? i mean somtimes i have to go to town for example to get something for the teachers but she would not allow it. wat can i do? i cant fight with her. i dont wanna fight with her. it totally breaks my heart fighting with her. she still cant accept that i am her 15 year old girl not anymore her 5 year old girl.

please mum.. dnt keep me in a cage. i wanna fly and see the world.

eerrgghh.. all this is no use. i still havent told her i'm taking art for my o's. she's gonna kill me man. i think aft the band camp i will break the news to her. no matter wat, i will take art for my os. no one is gonna stop me. this is my dream. i love art. i love band music. i love malay literature (i read lots of poetry and mL lit works. shall post some of the poems...lata larh) but apparently she only support the latter. i will persue all this when i'm in jc lata. no one's gonna stop me. even if i fail in this subj in my o's.

ssoo that's it. i love art. i love band music. i love malay lit.
no one's gonna change that. ooppss i forgot one..CHOCOLATES!!!
LoLs!!! hahaha chocolates!!