its raining

it always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun the most.



so i'll be a good girl and smile. like khun said, 'smile even when it rains! =]'

lol. barrage was awesome-ness man. but serves me right for not eating properly and mr gastric said hello to miss stomach.
met up irnanana today. awesome-ness but i was tired out real quick. haha.

school next week. need to sort my pilesssssssssssss of notes, start revise accounts T_T, revise my btt heh(oh horvie just his driving too wwwwweeeeeeeeee), settle mendaki issues and loads more which is too long a list to say it here.

i'm tired easily these days, physically and emotionally.

chiao.

fight!

how apt.
its like when you've finally have picked yourself back up again, you're thrown back into the bottomless pit of darkness.

now, whats your next plan?

and best thing of all, you're all alone. wow. great huh.

and tmr work. see that pantat kuali's face again. cb.



chiao.

FINALLY

finally my laptop has internet connection again. thank goodness. now i can blog regularly again.

suffocation. dreams. solitude.

i wish i could do something.

finally, i am 19. eee so old!
haha. but today just feels like any other. no different. however, thanks for the wishes, presents and cakes and surprises. :)

i need to sleep. tmr will be another tiring suffocating day to deal with pantat kuali. ergh.

chiao.

i wanna quit school.

i could go on the whole night. i dont mind. study.study. study. but i need to sleep. although i cant feel my body asking me to sleep. dang. cikgu added like 5 more essays on top of the 6 essays for homework. due next week. wait, means today. and when i finished like 6 essays, she msged me that we can email by thurs.... i could have done my geog essays! which ms leow have been chasing me for. and many many many more work that i havent finish yet....................... i wanna scream.

i think this year hari raya, i'll be boiling ketupat while writing essays.

and i havent cleaned out my room yet. dust dust dust and more dust. oh, toilet cleaning, kitchen cleaning, vacuuming and mopping session on mon night.
ah, better get back to work la.

chiao.

i dont know.

i dont know why the hell i changed my blog template.

and i dont know why i am baking now.

and i know i wont be sleeping anytime soon looking at the amt of work.

dont worry, i am still sane.

i hope so. haha.

but i know something. that somewhere deep, i'm kinda trying to suppress everything.

chiao.

its ok.

letto sebelum cahaya. :) lovely!


anyway, had 3 teachers calling me up today. all addressing my current situation. well, i feel numbed.

thanks seri, for listening to me all night till the next morning, entertaining me and all. :) thank you my dear friend.

whatever happens from now on, i'm gonna take it in with grace.


and smile!

chiao.

Life isnt that simple

a level results are out. some did well. some didnt.

i'm so proud of those who did. while the many others, i may not understand it now. but i guess i can feel the melancholic and tense atmosphere just now. and it wasnt nice at all. i feel sad. and scared too. u guys worked so hard and yet.. how will i fare?

i got an A for mt a level btw. but the person whom i wanted to please wasnt pleased at all.

what must i do to make u smile and be proud of my achievements?

tell me what?

i'll do just that.

must i run away from home then you'll give me your attention?

must i?

i swear i will make u see me.

i will make sure i am worth your attention.

if i can get a U grade and then to a D, i will jump from that D to an A.

i swear i will make cik sham's sacrifice worth while.

i swear i will get us out of this vicious cycle.

i tell u that.

but will i succeed?

i pray to you oh God, bless this journey of mine.

too much emotions in me.

tmr's band prac from 8.30 am to 5.30pm. then its alumni concert.

hmm, i'm gonna have funnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wwweeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

chiao.

3 months' notice and we're homeless. yes, homeless. i'm trying not to let this problem get the better of me. i shall smile more. now that i can smile widely! :)

the best thing is, i dont know what to do.



thursday's band prac was something to be remembered about. dr lee thought us unity in the most innovative way. the whole band was tied up by the ankles and had to walk from one end of the field to the other. and we had to turn around. it was fun. but it shows our character. hahaha, i fell on my buttt. how can i not fall when i am standing in between crazy people like irna and stuart. hahaha. oh gawd. so funny. walking together as one band that day just shows how our unity as a band. family? we all know we are in this family but, actions people, actions speaks louder than words. ooh suddenly i remember the song more than words. hahaha.



what am i thinking. ok, tmr had to wake up early, early to go to sch!!! wwwweeee



chiao

i shall not give up.

fight fight fight

wheather its the fatigue, or whatever

i shall fight on

this is only the begining.

:))))))))

aye, harry potter and the deathly hollows,

I GOT U!!!!!!!!!!!

YES, YES, YES!!

i'm feeling sssooo happy now.

hehehe.

time to mug (and not read that potter book!)

now.

yakinkah ku berdiri

di hampa tanpa tepi

bolehkah aku mendengarmu

terkubur dalam emosi

tanpa bisa bersembunyi

aku dan nafas ku merindukan mu

terpuruk ku disini

teranianya sepi

dan ku tahu pasti

kau menemani

dalam hidup ku, kesendirian ku

teringat ku teringat

pada janjimu ku terikat

hanya sekejap ku berdiri

ku lakukan sepenuh hati

peduli ku peduli,

siang dan malam berganti

sedih ku ini tiadalah erti

jika kau lah sandaran hati. :)

tengok muke pon da cukup. u just make me smile non-stop. kihkihkih...