Sick! [To the core!!]

This week has been totally like sick!! My nightmare came back from china!! Well, yah actually that morning before the band prac i had this feeling that something bad would happened at band. But wat can i do? i just went to band that morning as usual ah...Then when i reached there, she and jia hao were already in front of the band; the i.c... That morning was a Wednesday morning... so i was quite cheerful and i immediately welcomed her back; sincerely! ok, the first thing that hit me was the sitting plan in the music room. I was the only one sitting among the sec ones and the other two seniors?? Wat were they doing? Sitting at a corner and giggling! Man, it was like me and the sec ones were so extras b'cos Mr wong oso didn't talk to me and when there's sumthing... He showed only Shi Ying and Nadirah. Wat are we there for? Statues for decoration in the music room is it?? Then when the sec ones didn't noe anything like rythms or fingerings they would ask me and i would teach them... Then the other two... wat were they doing..giggling again... Then the solo oso can ask if i want to take... Then i say u are the Assit Sect Leader...u lah decided why should i decide? Even if i take... u would wanna take it rite? Then i say watever lah...Then i take the next one coming up then aft that, u take the rest... Ah... watever... i don care..as long as i play correctly and can be heard... that's all. I feel soo pissed off. I can't tahan... i say lah to aisyah and muen during lunch then they ask me just to be patient and relax... ok lah at least got some ppl who understand me... Then aft lunch, again the routine pissing me off haven't end... This time, she would say...eh shaheera u play this wrong...eh u play that wrong... eh u play i can not hear, play louder ah... u sit there, four euphos u noe.. but i can't hear any thing from u.. I admit, i play soft, i not good at rythms but that doesn't mean that i would always do all the mistakes that u had heard rite?? Oh, well, even if i play correctly they would say i play wrongly.. then i just keep quiet lah..just shut up better... Then aft band melissa broke down in front of the band b'cos of our attitude towards the SYF. All went quiet. We stood there with our heads bent down. Then aft dismissed, Nadirah talk to me asking me to teach the sec ones! 'I don't care! U have to teach the sec ones!! Just now i sit there i could hear they play like shit!' I was like, wat? Me? Eh, who's the ASL now? Who's responsibilty is that?? I can't take it anymore and i broke down in front aisyah and muen and solomon on the way home... Luckly its them...At least they confronted me...and told me to relax... Went home... i thought that i would have a peace of mind as i was already having bouts of migrane but when i went home mum was screaming at shamil and aft that i had to take over the household chores...hanging the wet clothes, washing the dishes, serving dad his dinner...b'cos mum was very sick... I felt pity towards her and i felt scared too. Scared that i would lose her.. I feel like i could not take the stress any more. But i had to be strong...Then the next day, i did my hw, the whole day. Then on Fri... Brass and percussion sectional with mr wong. I was totally dreading that day actually. But i had to drag myself. That same thing happened again... I felt that watever i had done, they had never appreciated it! So i just sat there...blowing and blowing....Mr wong knew there was something wrong with me but i just said that i had migrane so he dosen't make a fuss bout it. That day i got the chance to scold gavin!! Hahaha!!That was the best thing!! Ah... i think this week has been the worst week!! And i still haven't finish my hw!!! :(