ragh

growing up isnt something so easy after all eh.

i knew that but never actually really embrace it.

i miss school to make my life a hell, friends to nonsense-nonsense with, band to make music, mcs to have fun, running to fall down again (hahahaha), screaming on the rooftop, laughing just to be happy. oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i miss my friends.


work has been keeping me busy and tired. but busy in the way that i sit in front of the com everyday and stare at it without talking with anyone... then when i'm out of office, i'll be so bored that i'll start pacing arnd at home. wanna go out but i'm under her clutches. no life right. tsk.

how do i break away from them and get my well deserved freedom?how long will this be? they need to realise i'm no more a lilttle girl. but they just wont accept it. i guess i'll have to try the harder way then. too bad.

hate it when people force me to do something. like wiping and scrubbing the floor with my bare hands. :( and this isnt trivial for me. ggrrrr.

i should find something to do that makes me happy.

but what?

chiao.

taggies

finally i managed to put in a tag board! yay! so feel free to flood it uhh. :)

work tomorrow! aaahhhhh! ohnonono. butterflies in my stomach. and i dont know what to wear!

oh steven mead is outrageously fantastic! jaw-droppingly good la. i'm gonna cope his cd from edwin haha. and pizzahut with girls is :)) haha. (khai, pichurrss!!)

right. sleep now i must.

chiao.

FINALLY

haahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

FINALLY.

A JOB.

AND GOODDD PAY.

i hope my supervisor isnt some old, pervert, big beer belly ah pek.

wwwwweeeeeeeeeeee.

chiao.

patience and sincerity

ayat-ayat cinta (verses of love)



yeah, i am abit slow. but this movie is good. i finished 2 whole packets of tissue while watching it. moving, and educational. the best part was when the male lead was jailed and he tried to pray, but couldnt concentrate. He kept crying and stopping.(ouch, that happened to meh.) The fellow inmate laughed at him and said, haha, its a wonder that you are an Al Azhar undergrad but do not know the key to praying.(ouucchhh. ok, i think i know now). Then he received a letter saying that he was taken out from the best university in islamic studies, Al Azhar. the guy cried like a baby and the fellow inmate said to him, get up! remember the story of Yusuf a.s and Zulaikha? Yusuf prayed, if its true that living in a jail is more meaningful then i choose to be here and be near to you, Lord. Rather than being outside with those hypocrites and liars. Then, he continued, Allah is talking to you about patience and sincerity. Islam is about patience and sincerity.b'cos the guy was jailed for raping a girl that he had helped before and Yusuf story is somewhat similar to his situation. by this time i'm like wailing. haha.

now then i know that islam doesnt condone dating, only taaruf, where the couple meet up in the presence of family members. and if they like each other, they get married, if not, take it as making friends. haha. haha, no dating uhhh, you halal people!

cant wait for fridayyy!!!!!!!! and i need a jobbbbbbbbb. rawr. ok, patience.

chiao.

last one(hopefully)

had a reallyyyyyyyy great day today. :))))))))) well, thank you sheree and edwin for making my day before... i-dont-want-to-think-about-it. i'm highhhhhhhh on sugarrrrrrrr. hahaha.

ergh, a few more hours. uwahhhhh.
still gives me the chills although i've been through it so many times. well, its just the thought of laying there on the operating table makes me feel all alone. because no one else will feel the pain of the needles, the knife on my skin(although i've been anesthesised) the thread going in and out when its being stitched up, no one else. except me. because i'm going through it.

ah, well, doc you better give me a great smile soon!

and i need to get well, soon, soon, soon!!!so many many things to do. find job, register the french lang course, register the icing and fondant class, mcs bbq, kak siti sushi session bla bla bla. too many.

miss alottt of friends since school's overr.(so ironic since i'm listening to jesse macartney's its over hahahaha)

chiao.

the passing on.

THIS ENTRY IS DEDICATED TO KHAI, OK MY DEAR! :)

since you want me to update. :)

where do i start?

sigh. i'll miss you, my dear. although we never knew each other, looking at your photos and the way cik midah cry makes me sad. i'll always remember you.

funny how your passing actually made all the adults realise their mistakes and finally talk again.

funny how your passing gives me sleepless nights.

funny how your passing made me erm.. cry.

i'll pray for you.

well, i'm just glad my family is together back again.

birthdays. so many. it made me really occupied.

received some job offers too. and some cake orders. guess i'm not ready yet to accept any orders.

the more i look at your photos, the more i miss you. the more i feel ssad.. being so distant from you. i'm sorry i can never be where you are.

send ud off at airport today. so many people are going away. well, its just the airport right. yeah. but i could feel a stabbing pain.

well, some things are just difficult to forget.

oh no. interviews!! and 7 more days. sigh.

chiao.